My hypnobirthing experience gave me a positive birth, despite a difficult recovery. As soon as I heard about hypnobirthing I knew I wanted to try it. As a mental health nurse, I have always been interested in the mind-body connection and the importance of relaxation and happy hormones for staying calm and in control.
I am also a bit of a control freak, especially when it comes to my health, so anything that could help me understand the process of labour and birth, as well as make it a more pleasant process had to be a good thing.
I spent some time deciding which hypnobirthing school to use and finally decided on the Calm Birth School. This was partly because I was already signed up for NCT and prenatal yoga classes, and I really didn’t have the time to go to another class so their online programme suited me at the time.
But it was also their philosophy that appealed to me. Being a nurse, I am fully aware of how life doesn’t always go the way we want. Our birth plan might say one thing, but the realities on the day might take us on a completely different direction.
I also knew that my labour was unlikely to be without medical intervention. I was classified as high risk due to my age, the size of my baby and the fact I had low Papp A. This meant the doctors were already planning on inducing me at 40 weeks and I might end up having a difficult labour. I found some hypnobirthing schools to be too idealistic and I didn’t want to be disappointed if I ended up having pain relief and a medicalized birth.
The Calm Birth School seemed to be more practical. They recognised the fact that many women might end up with a very different birth to the one they had envisioned but hypnobirthing can be used no matter what. In fact, hypnobirthing can turn a stressful, difficult delivery into one in which the woman still feels in control and empowered. I liked this approach so I chose the Calm Birth School to learn hypnobirthing.
I enrolled in the course when I was about 26 weeks pregnant. I wanted to make sure I had plenty of time to practice the breathing techniques and feel confident when the time came.
I watched the lessons, downloaded the MP3s and started practicing the techniques. Once I finished work in July, at around 28 weeks, I got into a really nice routine of gentle exercise, practising my breathing techniques and listening to the MP3s and affirmations.
I had a daily pregnancy routine. When I woke up in the morning, I would sit on my birthing ball for 5-10 minutes, doing some gentle movements and exercises as well as bouncing on it for a while. While I was doing this, I would practice my wave breathing that would be used during a surge while in labour.
Then I would get dressed and head out for a long walk. Every day through that summer I would walk about 5km along the seafront and back as early in the morning as possible. I loved the quietness of this time of day and there were very few people about – only dog walkers and people jogging. Doing this every day meant not only was I getting some exercise, but also I could practise my relaxation techniques and increase my calmness and awareness on my breath.
At some point during this walk I would stop where there was no one else around, and practise my Calm Birth School breathing. This helped me to be able to relax quickly and easily during labour and anytime I felt stressed during those last few weeks of pregnancy.
Later in the day, I would give myself some time to put on my headphones and listen to the MP3s and affirmations. I found there were a couple of affirmations that really resonated with me and I printed these out so I could see them whenever I was in the kitchen or bedroom. Then I could keep repeating those affirmations so when I was in labour I would be able to quickly and easily bring them to mind.
Initially I found it difficult to imagine a positive birth because of all the negative stories I had heard and seen around birth. I have always been very analytical and I struggled to switch off this part of my brain so I could retrain my mind to see birth as a positive experience. But by repeating the affirmations, using the breathing techniques regularly and watching hypnobirthing mums on YouTube, I started believing that I could have a positive birth too.
I decided I wanted my husband and my mum to be with me during the labour and birth. I knew the labour could be long and tiring for everyone and I wanted to make sure there was more than one advocate there for me in case things got difficult. The less I had to use the analytical part of my brain during labour the better, and if I needed to make any decisions or stand up for myself during the birth, I wanted other people there to support me.
I made sure that my husband and mum both knew my birth preferences and were on the same page as me with everything. My husband had also been watching me doing the breathing techniques and knew what I was doing with the hypnobirthing. That proved invaluable when I was in labour and things got a bit more intense because he knew how to keep me focused on my breathing and get me through the worst of it.
The midwives knew I wanted to be in the birthing pool, or at least stay as active as possible during labour. I didn’t want to be lying on a bed during labour and I didn’t want to be continuously monitored unless necessary. I also didn’t want to be offered pain relief unless I asked for it.
All these points were documented in my birth plan and the midwives on the labour ward were fantastic at making sure these preferences were followed. I also had a plan B in case I ended up needing an assisted delivery or C-Section. I knew things didn’t always go to plan and I wanted to cover all bases so if things didn’t go as well as I hoped, I could still have a positive experience.
I went into labour at about 11pm on the Thursday night. I still felt OK and I knew I shouldn’t wake my husband because this could go on all night and I wanted him to be rested for tomorrow. There was no point both of us being exhausted! So I got on the ball, and watched rubbish late night TV until the early hours of the morning.
By about 2am I was getting more and more uncomfortable. I couldn’t sit anymore and the only comfortable position was kneeling on the floor and leaning over the birthing ball. Alternating between leaning over the ball and standing leaning on the sideboard during a surge was the best way for me to manage the discomfort.
I was doing my wave breathing techniques to get through each surge, which helped. Somehow, I managed to doze a couple of times while kneeling on the floor with my head on the ball but by 4am I decided to get into the bath. This did little to help and I was out again soon after. I finally woke my husband at 5am and told him I was in labour.
We went to the hospital at 6am that morning. The cramping had died off a bit by the time we arrived – I think the anxiety of going to the hospital and being sent home again had probably stopped all that good oxytocin flowing and slowed down labour. Then we were sent home as I wasn’t dilated enough.
I tried to have a sleep and managed to rest for a couple of hours. In the meantime, my husband was making sure everything was organised for when the baby finally arrived and also trying to relax himself for the possible long labour ahead.
By the afternoon I was happy on the sofa watching TV or bouncing on the birth ball. I kept as active as I could but didn’t feel comfortable enough to go out. It was a hot summer day and busy in town. I didn’t feel like seeing too many people or dealing with surges with lots of strangers around me. So I stayed indoors while my husband went out and viewed a flat we wanted to rent. He came back and laughed, saying the estate agent had asked where I was and he told her I was in labour!
Mum came round at about 5pm. By then, the surges were getting more uncomfortable and I had to really concentrate on breathing. I was finding it almost impossible to sit down by this point and had been standing, holding onto the sideboard for at least an hour. Mum suggested we ring the hospital again so after speaking to the midwife, we got back in the car and went to the hospital.
We arrived at the hospital at 6.30pm and found I was 4cm dilated…now it’s finally happening!
I was lucky that the birthing pool in the labour ward was free so we all moved into that room and got comfortable. We put my iPod onto the docking station and got some relaxing music playing. I got into the pool and instantly felt more comfortable. Our midwife was lovely but she knew she didn’t need to be with us all the time so she would come and go for the first couple of hours.
My husband, mum and I chatted and relaxed for a couple of hours, with me breathing through the surges. I found the surges to be manageable and almost enjoyable as I focused on my breathing and affirmations in my head. The only time I struggled was when I had to get out of the pool to use the toilet. I was surprised at the difference in intensity of the surges in or out of the pool. The water definitely made the surges much easier to cope with.
I requested gas and air at about 11pm just so I could get through the stronger surges. My midwife was still coming in occasionally, but didn’t interfere with us and seemed happy with my progress.Unfortunately, the labour then took a different turn. The intensity and exhaustion I was feeling was suddenly overwhelming. The doctor told me the baby’s head was not in the optimal position and he was getting stuck. That would explain the lack of progress and the difficulties I was having.
They started monitoring him, and found his heart rate was dropping, so now we had to make a decision. They told me they wanted to get him out soon, but it was not urgent. I knew I had a choice, as they offered me some options. I could carry on as I was and see if the baby got himself in the correct position, I could have a forceps delivery or a C-Section.
Although I really didn’t want forceps, I also didn’t want the longer recovery of C-Section. I also knew I was too tired and in too much pain to carry on for much longer doing nothing. There was also the risk to the baby if we left it too long as his heart rate was still dropping between surges. I decided to have the forceps delivery and an epidural.
In that time, my husband was amazing. He made me focus on my breathing techniques and kept me as calm as possible through each surge. I really believe that without the Calm Birth School techniques and my ability to focus on my breath, I would have really struggled to stay calm and together during that time.
Once I had the epidural and was taken into theatre, I was so tired but happy to be at the end of the journey. I followed the instructions of the midwives and doctors who delivered my baby. It was a scary time but Jai was born at 06.04am on Saturday 2nd September 2017