The Birth of Lucas

A strong and empowering experience - MLU Transfer

  • First baby

  • Arrived @ 40wks+5days

  • Instrumental delivery following transfer from The Birth Place MLU

  • Doula - Atosa Stedman of Kent Hypnobirthing

  • Tens, pool, gas/air, Hypnobirthing

I started researching about hypnobirthing after seeing an ad describing labour as ‘pleasurable’. As most of us, I would have never put these 2 words together so, although quite sceptical, I was intrigued as to what was on offer.

Given that my partner’s attention-span on an online training was questionable and I wanted her to fully participate on this course, I found Atosa when looking for a face-to-face course. The course was revealing for both my partner and myself. We felt inspired by the information received, by Atosa herself, her calm approach to birth and her support throughout pregnancy (to the point that we asked her to be our doula), and empowered by the very nature of women fundamentally capable of giving birth to another human being.

As labour approached I felt very relaxed, sleeping through the night and wondering how I would meet the most special person that had been growing inside me; although I could not entirely forget my ‘due date’ and felt fearful at times of being pressured to have an induction. At my appointment at 39 weeks I agreed with my midwife to have a sweep booked for 40 + 6.

In the meantime, I focused on boosting my oxytocin levels by going for sunny walks with my dog and enjoying a coffee in the high street; booking massages, going to the pool, cuddling with my partner, reading enjoyable books (and re-reading my hypnobirthing book) and watching Netflix whilst resting. I felt in shape and ready for labour and I was excited when I saw spotting at 39 + 3 thinking that it could be my mucus plug. I started feeling a bit disappointed when on the days after, labour had not yet begun.

I was 40 + 2 on a Sunday and on a lovely and sunny walk (Lucas was born on a very sunny and hot start of summer) with my partner and my dog when I started feeling some cramp-like sensations, very mild, but very regular, every 20 minutes approximately. I knew things were then starting. I had a mocha coffee in the warmth of the sunshine just excited and happy at the idea of meeting my baby soon. We then drove to a Mexican restaurant and bought a naked burrito that we ate in our garden and drove to antenatal yoga after that, where I shared with my classmates that I thought I was in early labour.

Sensations kept being 20 minutes apart but slightly stronger, certainly more noticeable by the evening. We knew things were moving and thought we would meet our baby on the following day so we decided to set the living room up for early labour. My partner helped me hanging up my affirmations and the candles; we put the diffuser on and I watched the TV comedy ‘motherland’ whilst jumping on the pregnancy ball. Clara prepared her work handover getting ready for her parental leave to start.

When she went to bed I was still moving between the ball and the sofa. I tried to sleep but the sensations- and the excitement- were strong enough to keep me awake so I could not sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time. The day after went by in the living room: watching a new TV show, reading my affirmations, doing some yoga positions and tracking my sensations in the hope of achieving the 3 sensations within a 10 minute period we needed to start the active phase of labour.

As hours passed, contractions were certainly intense but still far apart reaching the 8-10 minutes gap by the night. I was enjoying them. In each of them I focused on breathing as I had learnt on my hypnobirthing course while seeing myself in a quiet sea and the sun shining in front of me. I saw myself swimming towards the sun whilst my mum and grandmother - whom I lost some years ago and whom I had consistently remembered during my whole pregnancy - hoping to replicate the feelings of love and safety I received from them - were guiding me to move towards that sun.

Getting a bit disheartened when night came and my sensations were not close enough I remembered using my headphones and listening to my birth playlist whilst going up and down the stairs and Clara had fallen asleep on the sofa. A second night went by with no sleep. I was starting to feel the tiredness but my excitement was intact. A full third day passed with intense sensations until I finally reached the 3 contractions in 10 minutes and I called The Birth Place and let our doula, Atosa, know. The best part was finally starting! I was 4 cm when I got to The Birth Place at 7pm on a Tuesday. I was 40 + 4 by then.

I was given a very nice room with a pool. Our doula joined us and she helped in preparing the environment, dimming the lights, playing music. Sensations were at this point stronger but bearable. Baby was back to back which made them more intense on my back and both Clara and Atosa helped by applying some pressure on each sensation. At this point I was also using gas and air. My midwife was respectful of our birth plan and came to check on baby’s heartbeat as agreed and to check my progress, as I requested.

I was listening to our doula’s relaxation affirmations and I was going through labour with Clara, as a team. I was feeling strong. As my third sleepless night went on, exhaustion started to take a toll on me. Still, I was encouraged by Clara, Atosa and the midwife to keep going so I found strength to keep on.

At 8 cm, just before 8am on the Wednesday, I was invited to use the pool. Although I was dubious as I had managed all my sensations standing against a wall (the same wall, same spot) I was not sure whether I could manage a different position. Still I went into the pool because I loved the idea of a water baby. To my surprise, the pool slowed down my sensations drastically, which felt like a very pleasing break, but interfered with the progress of labour.

When I was invited out of the pool I found out that I was dilating more on one side of my cervix. Lucas’ head wasn’t fully centred and the midwife recommended to break my waters to use the weight of his head pressing on my cervix to help with dilation to which I agreed.

By approximately midday I reached full dilation. I needed some sleep and a break. My memories at that time are confusing. Sensations were similar to what I had experienced until then, however, I thought I needed another kind of power to breathe my baby down. I was exhausted and started to doubt myself, feeling like I was losing the control I had had over the whole experience.

I breathed down and pushed but after a few attempts our midwife confirmed Lucas’ head was not descending and advised a doctor's assessment to which again I agreed. I had put in all my energy, trusted my body and trusted my baby and my baby was then directing his own birth towards his own direction.

I was connected to a monitor and examined by some doctors. They mentioned oxytocin induction and/or assisted delivery.

I remember discussing with my doula and Clara my preference towards assisted vaginal delivery and passing these wishes onto the doctors which at the time I thought were taking it into account. I later found out that the fact that they saw my contractions were already strong would have contributed towards their plan of assisted delivery.

I especially remember using the safe place visualisations which I learnt on the course, here - I thought of my bedroom as a child in my grandma's home to help me to feel safe.

At 15:56 on Wednesday at 40 + 5 Lucas was born. Having my baby on top of me was the most magical moment I had experienced in my whole life.

Not having the birth I was ready for felt somehow disappointing but I know that my body and my baby directed the whole show until the end. This was OUR WAY. We went through all of it TOGETHER, strong, empowered. I enjoyed and sailed through my sensations. We navigated together the eventualities we faced. We went together through sun and storm. I accepted the unexpected turns and made the decisions we needed to make for me and my baby. Overall we had a very intense and beautiful experience. None of this would have been achieved without my breathing techniques, affirmations, visualisations and the total certitude that my body would guide me through the whole process.

I would (and I am) recommend hypnobirthing to every pregnant woman.

The Birth of Tabitha

Positive Home Water Birth

  • Tabitha Honey Garland (known girl)

  • Second baby

  • Arrived @ 41wks on Mon 22nd Aug 2022

  • Planned & actual home water birth

  • Doula - Atosa Stedman of Kent Hypnobirthing

  • Tens, comb, pool and gas/air (few puffs through transition stage), Hypnobirthing

  • Mum ‘High Risk’ 40yrs old. BMI 36. 100kg at booking. High blood pressure but un-medicated. No sweeps.

    First baby - boy (now 5yrs) born on due date. Attempted home birth but due to 4 day latent stage I got so tired I lost control and transferred in ambulance for a hospital birth. Epidural, on my back and in stirrups. I did not want that this time. I was determined!

    Pregnancy - went fairly well, tried to keep active did a weekly exercise class up until about 35 weeks then switched to swimming. Baby was breech lots of scans throughout pregnancy up until the 37 week scan! She did like to flip about. Swimming and vertically diving under the water helped her do her final turn and she thankfully stayed head down to birth! Whoop whoop! My blood pressure had been questionably high but just under the need for medication. Pressure was obviously put on me for c-sections, Hospital births, inductions blah blah blah due to my ‘geriatric status’ and BMI. I had to go into all appointments listening to music/affirmations to relax or the ‘white coat syndrome’ would raise my blood pressure up so much that on one occasion I had to stay in for a couple of hours for monitoring. I got over it, chilled out it dropped and I scurried out of there as fast as I could.

    The fact I’m 40 (with added high bmi) was a big deal with the medical staff they had me under the consultant (which I only ever saw in person once) and considered me high risk and wanted me to have my baby by 39 weeks. I said I’d pass on the message to her but she didn’t oblige

    On Monday 22.08.2022 at 41 weeks about 1am I felt regular surges start. I had been feeling stronger braxton hicks the day before and had a little show but carried on with our planned family day of swimming and carvery. I couldn’t sleep so went downstairs and pottered about then bounced on the ball. I watched ‘Paul’ on Netflix and tried to nap but actually laying down made my surges stronger. At 7am my husband and 5 year old woke up, I didn’t want to wake hubs in the night as I knew it would be a long day. We had some breakfast all together and I wandered round the house most of the day listening to music, playing with my son and his new toys that I had got him to keep him busy and setting things up. Hubby checked the baby’s heart rate which I know is naughty but it gave me some relief that she was ok and not stressed. I got things out methodically as I’d previously planned. Dolphins swimming on YouTube, clary sage/lavender oil flannel to smell, laid out the comb, massage ball, towels everywhere and all my other gadgets.

    I had been worried that my son might be a bit scared but as I breathed through my surges he was fine and even gave my back a tickle after watching his dad. Cute.

    3pm we called our doula and explained things had ramped up and she arrived at 4pm. We also called the midwife and she said she would call back at 4pm. By 5pm we decided to ring them as we hadn’t heard and we put on the tens machine which provided some much need relief from the peak of the surge. The midwives arrived at 5.15pm and 5.30pm. Hubby started to fill the pool. I had my checks and I was happy my blood pressure was actually ok (higher end but ok) I agreed to a VE as I was keen to find out how I was doing. Pleased to find out I was 7-8cm with ‘bulging waters’ love that phrase, it actually made me spur on. I was quite vocal at this point so my son went upstairs with his earphones, iPad and pizza dinner Hubby had provided him with a big bag sweets but he tipped some in a bowl and brought the rest down like a little angel. I wasn’t aware of much going on with my music on but I heard everyone making a fuss of him and it made me really proud and happy.

    Still with my wireless earphones on (listening to music from the hotel spa where we got married in Mauritius) I decided I wanted to get in the pool, at 6.45pm hubby and doula removed the tens (after a surge came and I demanded they stick the pads back on last min) I was quite quite scared as I had been relying on that boost button but I still thought I had quite a bit of time until the main event and wanted to enjoy the pool. I was wrong though and didn’t have much time at all, after initial relief from the lovely warm water, I had some really strong surges and started to enter transition stage. At this point I asked for gas & air and had a little wobble but I regained composure quite quickly and only took about 10 puffs in total but I had really got into a good ‘in through the nose out through the mouth’ breathing cycle so it put me off. I felt between my legs and knew she was close but my waters had not yet released. Slowly I breathed her head down and placed my hand on top of her head, then with a little more breathing down her shoulders passed and then she came out with ease. I slowly lifted her up and it was the most amazing experience of my life. At 7pm she was here. I felt strong, empowered emotional and just full of love. My son actually came down to see her birth but with a blood phobia he nipped back upstairs telling us he’ll come back down once she’s cleaned up.

    After about 20mins I got out the pool and had skin to skin birthing my placenta about 7.40pm (no injection). Tabitha had started breast feeding in the pool and carried on whilst I had skin to skin. I allowed the vitamin k injection and we all had some sofa time together. The midwives respected my birth plan and my Doula was just fantastic supporting my husband and myself but also dealing with lots of questions from my son throughout the afternoon. She is actually expecting a baby herself in a couple of months but she just cared for me with a gentle touch when she knew I needed it, especially when hubby was dealing with our son. Her presence and touch just relaxed me which I’ll be forever grateful for.

    Everyone had a cuppa and I had the best jam on toast ever. We had our checks and everyone had gone home by 10.30pm.

Jai's birth story

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My hypnobirthing experience gave me a positive birth, despite a difficult recovery. As soon as I heard about hypnobirthing I knew I wanted to try it. As a mental health nurse, I have always been interested in the mind-body connection and the importance of relaxation and happy hormones for staying calm and in control.

I am also a bit of a control freak, especially when it comes to my health, so anything that could help me understand the process of labour and birth, as well as make it a more pleasant process had to be a good thing.

I spent some time deciding which hypnobirthing school to use and finally decided on the Calm Birth School. This was partly because I was already signed up for NCT and prenatal yoga classes, and I really didn’t have the time to go to another class so their online programme suited me at the time.

But it was also their philosophy that appealed to me. Being a nurse, I am fully aware of how life doesn’t always go the way we want. Our birth plan might say one thing, but the realities on the day might take us on a completely different direction.

I also knew that my labour was unlikely to be without medical intervention. I was classified as high risk due to my age, the size of my baby and the fact I had low Papp A. This meant the doctors were already planning on inducing me at 40 weeks and I might end up having a difficult labour. I found some hypnobirthing schools to be too idealistic and I didn’t want to be disappointed if I ended up having pain relief and a medicalized birth.

The Calm Birth School seemed to be more practical. They recognised the fact that many women might end up with a very different birth to the one they had envisioned but hypnobirthing can be used no matter what. In fact, hypnobirthing can turn a stressful, difficult delivery into one in which the woman still feels in control and empowered. I liked this approach so I chose the Calm Birth School to learn hypnobirthing.

I enrolled in the course when I was about 26 weeks pregnant. I wanted to make sure I had plenty of time to practice the breathing techniques and feel confident when the time came.

I watched the lessons, downloaded the MP3s and started practicing the techniques. Once I finished work in July, at around 28 weeks, I got into a really nice routine of gentle exercise, practising my breathing techniques and listening to the MP3s and affirmations.

I had a daily pregnancy routine. When I woke up in the morning, I would sit on my birthing ball for 5-10 minutes, doing some gentle movements and exercises as well as bouncing on it for a while. While I was doing this, I would practice my wave breathing that would be used during a surge while in labour.

Then I would get dressed and head out for a long walk. Every day through that summer I would walk about 5km along the seafront and back as early in the morning as possible. I loved the quietness of this time of day and there were very few people about – only dog walkers and people jogging. Doing this every day meant not only was I getting some exercise, but also I could practise my relaxation techniques and increase my calmness and awareness on my breath.

At some point during this walk I would stop where there was no one else around, and practise my Calm Birth School breathing. This helped me to be able to relax quickly and easily during labour and anytime I felt stressed during those last few weeks of pregnancy.

Later in the day, I would give myself some time to put on my headphones and listen to the MP3s and affirmations. I found there were a couple of affirmations that really resonated with me and I printed these out so I could see them whenever I was in the kitchen or bedroom. Then I could keep repeating those affirmations so when I was in labour I would be able to quickly and easily bring them to mind.

Initially I found it difficult to imagine a positive birth because of all the negative stories I had heard and seen around birth. I have always been very analytical and I struggled to switch off this part of my brain so I could retrain my mind to see birth as a positive experience. But by repeating the affirmations, using the breathing techniques regularly and watching hypnobirthing mums on YouTube, I started believing that I could have a positive birth too.

I decided I wanted my husband and my mum to be with me during the labour and birth. I knew the labour could be long and tiring for everyone and I wanted to make sure there was more than one advocate there for me in case things got difficult. The less I had to use the analytical part of my brain during labour the better, and if I needed to make any decisions or stand up for myself during the birth, I wanted other people there to support me.

I made sure that my husband and mum both knew my birth preferences and were on the same page as me with everything. My husband had also been watching me doing the breathing techniques and knew what I was doing with the hypnobirthing. That proved invaluable when I was in labour and things got a bit more intense because he knew how to keep me focused on my breathing and get me through the worst of it.

The midwives knew I wanted to be in the birthing pool, or at least stay as active as possible during labour. I didn’t want to be lying on a bed during labour and I didn’t want to be continuously monitored unless necessary. I also didn’t want to be offered pain relief unless I asked for it.

All these points were documented in my birth plan and the midwives on the labour ward were fantastic at making sure these preferences were followed. I also had a plan B in case I ended up needing an assisted delivery or C-Section. I knew things didn’t always go to plan and I wanted to cover all bases so if things didn’t go as well as I hoped, I could still have a positive experience.

I went into labour at about 11pm on the Thursday night. I still felt OK and I knew I shouldn’t wake my husband because this could go on all night and I wanted him to be rested for tomorrow. There was no point both of us being exhausted! So I got on the ball, and watched rubbish late night TV until the early hours of the morning.

By about 2am I was getting more and more uncomfortable. I couldn’t sit anymore and the only comfortable position was kneeling on the floor and leaning over the birthing ball. Alternating between leaning over the ball and standing leaning on the sideboard during a surge was the best way for me to manage the discomfort.

I was doing my wave breathing techniques to get through each surge, which helped. Somehow, I managed to doze a couple of times while kneeling on the floor with my head on the ball but by 4am I decided to get into the bath. This did little to help and I was out again soon after. I finally woke my husband at 5am and told him I was in labour.

We went to the hospital at 6am that morning. The cramping had died off a bit by the time we arrived – I think the anxiety of going to the hospital and being sent home again had probably stopped all that good oxytocin flowing and slowed down labour. Then we were sent home as I wasn’t dilated enough.

I tried to have a sleep and managed to rest for a couple of hours. In the meantime, my husband was making sure everything was organised for when the baby finally arrived and also trying to relax himself for the possible long labour ahead.

By the afternoon I was happy on the sofa watching TV or bouncing on the birth ball. I kept as active as I could but didn’t feel comfortable enough to go out. It was a hot summer day and busy in town. I didn’t feel like seeing too many people or dealing with surges with lots of strangers around me. So I stayed indoors while my husband went out and viewed a flat we wanted to rent. He came back and laughed, saying the estate agent had asked where I was and he told her I was in labour!

Mum came round at about 5pm. By then, the surges were getting more uncomfortable and I had to really concentrate on breathing. I was finding it almost impossible to sit down by this point and had been standing, holding onto the sideboard for at least an hour. Mum suggested we ring the hospital again so after speaking to the midwife, we got back in the car and went to the hospital.

We arrived at the hospital at 6.30pm and found I was 4cm dilated…now it’s finally happening!

I was lucky that the birthing pool in the labour ward was free so we all moved into that room and got comfortable. We put my iPod onto the docking station and got some relaxing music playing. I got into the pool and instantly felt more comfortable. Our midwife was lovely but she knew she didn’t need to be with us all the time so she would come and go for the first couple of hours.

My husband, mum and I chatted and relaxed for a couple of hours, with me breathing through the surges. I found the surges to be manageable and almost enjoyable as I focused on my breathing and affirmations in my head. The only time I struggled was when I had to get out of the pool to use the toilet. I was surprised at the difference in intensity of the surges in or out of the pool. The water definitely made the surges much easier to cope with.

I requested gas and air at about 11pm just so I could get through the stronger surges. My midwife was still coming in occasionally, but didn’t interfere with us and seemed happy with my progress.Unfortunately, the labour then took a different turn. The intensity and exhaustion I was feeling was suddenly overwhelming. The doctor told me the baby’s head was not in the optimal position and he was getting stuck. That would explain the lack of progress and the difficulties I was having.

They started monitoring him, and found his heart rate was dropping, so now we had to make a decision. They told me they wanted to get him out soon, but it was not urgent. I knew I had a choice, as they offered me some options. I could carry on as I was and see if the baby got himself in the correct position, I could have a forceps delivery or a C-Section.

Although I really didn’t want forceps, I also didn’t want the longer recovery of C-Section. I also knew I was too tired and in too much pain to carry on for much longer doing nothing. There was also the risk to the baby if we left it too long as his heart rate was still dropping between surges. I decided to have the forceps delivery and an epidural.

In that time, my husband was amazing. He made me focus on my breathing techniques and kept me as calm as possible through each surge. I really believe that without the Calm Birth School techniques and my ability to focus on my breath, I would have really struggled to stay calm and together during that time.

Once I had the epidural and was taken into theatre, I was so tired but happy to be at the end of the journey. I followed the instructions of the midwives and doctors who delivered my baby. It was a scary time but Jai was born at 06.04am on Saturday 2nd September 2017

Edward's birth story

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So the time was creeping up to our estimated date (13/03/2020) - the day 

before the arrival of our beautiful boy I went for a long walk with my dogs, drank raspberry leaf tea and of an evening we created a little nest of fairy lights, music, candles, relaxation, massaging and breathing techniques. These moments we did daily really helped ground me and relax me of the upcoming arrival of our beautiful boy. 

On the 12/03/2020 - I started my day by taking my dogs for another walk round our local park at around 8.30/9.00am I did feel slightly that I had a constant feeling of needed a ‘poo’ on this walk. Didn’t think much of it other than the baby must be very low down today! Once back I went to the toilet and noticed a ‘bloody’ show! Much to my excitement I was aware that this could be the start of things - but also aware it could take a few days to a week from now. 

I carried on with my day and at 9.30am I had my midwife appointment - which also confirmed blood in my urine from my ‘show’ but to keep going and all very good signs! So off I plodded on back home, feeling very excited. 

I got home and started cleaning/fussing about - I had been doing this regularly just incase - I loved a tidy home. During this hour around 10-11am I started feeling some slight ‘period pains’. I remember stopping at the washing up and thinking maybe I will start to practice my breathing through these. I didn’t think much of them at all - everyone told me slow labour could go on for days and the first surges are very period like. 

Around 11.30am I was feeling a little needy - I had been few days leading up to this and text Ben if he could leave work at lunch and just come be with me just incase, I didn’t really want to be alone.

At 12.00pm a very close friend of mine popped round after work- I said it was a good distraction so we all had tea and biscuits for an hour which everyone loves! 

13.00-14.00pm I decided to go for another walk with our dogs round the block to see if we could bring things along - at this point still having mild ‘period pains’ which I thought maybe I would start tracking on Freya to see how far in between they are and keep an eye on things. 

14.00-14.30pm We got back and because I still had the feelings of needing a ‘poo’ I popped on the loo again - I wasn’t sure of but I think might waters went at this point! I called the midwife I saw that morning for advise and she suggested to get checked as they like to get baby out within a time frame of waters going. 

14.30pm We packed the bags into the car - just incase! Headed down to the local daycare. On the way down I did find the ‘period surges’ becoming quite regular and just sat silently the whole way with my headphones on listening to my affirmations and practiced breathing them in and out with each wave. I remember taking in the quiet moments between each one as a break. Once we arrived I waddled off while Ben went to get a weekly parking ticket. I stopped timing them on Freya at this point and to be honest didn’t have a clue and focused on getting over to the daycare unit. 

15.00pm We’d arrived at the hospital at and they popped me in a room to monitor baby’s heart rate. I had baby monitored prior to this while I was being checked regularly for pre eclampsia so knew what we was doing. I had to sit very still at this point which very quickly became difficult for me to do with the ‘surges’ I was feeling. So I really tried, I sat with my headphones on listening to my daily affirmations still - Ben was massaging my hands and I was really focusing on breathing in and out at this point. A thought crossed my mind that if I should consider to have an epidural because I was finding it incredibly hard already, which was upsetting me. 

Listening to the monitor I knew things had quickly changed every time I had a surge my baby’s heart decelerated. I had heard it so many time prior I knew something wasn’t right.  

The next thing I was asked to be checked by a midwife which I consented to. She couldn’t see much, so I didn’t think I was very far along - I was then de-dressed and put in a gown, socks and wheeled off in a wheel chair to the labour ward. Later on I do find out I was being prepped for a c - section here. 

16.00pm in the labour room, I had a lot of people coming in and out. In all honesty I was still just in my own bubble practising my breathing through the surges. I hopped onto the bed and another midwife asked if she could check to see how dilated I was in which I consented to again. 

The midwife turns around and says ‘8cm dilated’ to my shock I just knew this baby was on his way! I was actually half 8cm and half fully dilated at this point. There was no time for a c-section this baby was coming now! I was kindly offered gas and air which I took full advantage of using my breathing techniques through it. I had to start pushing baby out there and then every time a surge came I had to push into my bottom as hard as I could. 

Every time I did this I was literally just in visualisation of him moving down the birth canal and him ‘moving into the perfect position for giving birth’. My baby was slowly coming into the world with every push getting closer and closer. I felt no ‘pain’ at all during all of this!  

The birth really took a quick turn because every time I had these surges they kept loosing contact with our precious baby boy. They popped the electronic fetal monitoring on because they kept loosing him and I consented to this. I also consented to having an episiotomy - as they couldn’t get the baby head out - they had concerns if he had his cord round his neck or he was stressed as he couldn’t get out. 

They then asked my consent for a kiwi cup which I agreed to - in all honesty all I wanted was him out safe and sound and took all the advise given to me using my Brain method. 

Then at 16.55pm after 55 mins of a very quick labour, Our beautiful boy Edward Benjamin Moffatt - 8 pound 3 - was safely in my arms! 

Dad got to cut his cord and we spent 17.00pm-23.00pm golden hour time. It was amazing me, Ben and Eddie had all that time alone together - doing skin to skin. We really needed this after such a quick labour - I was in shock but the very first thing I said to the midwives after was ‘I’d do that again’. I loved every minute of my birth story. It wasn’t long, it was intense but so so so So empowering. Yes - I did labour on my back with my feet in stirrups and I absolutely loved every moment of it! 

P.s We hadn’t even taken the bags out the car! 

Rafe's birth story

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Went into labour Thursday at 12.30 am. Thought it was more of the twinges I’d had but started to realise that they were coming more often and not disappearing. Didn’t wake Stu because I was trying to rest as much as possible and wanted him to as well knowing that it could be some time of this going on. By the time his alarm went off at 8am I was sure they were coming regularly enough that I was in early labour as from 6-8am I timed them and they were every 10 mins. During the day they continued and varied in regularity from anywhere between every 3-8 mins. I used the Freya app to time them.

By 1pm I got Stu to put the Tens machine on me so that I could start using it. By the evening we were watching funny films, using massage and candles to build up oxytocin as much as possible. By about 10pm films went off and I was doing a lot of standing and hands around Stu to work through each contraction as they were picking up in intensity. Had a hot water bottle on my lower tummy. Used hynpo breathing and Stu was doing it with me to try to get me into the rhythm of it as they grew stronger. He was timing contractions from this point onwards and I was going up through the Tens machine levels.

By 1am they were coming close to 3 in 10 so we rang MLU and they said they didn’t think I was quite there and to rest at home and call again in an hour. I managed to fall asleep a bit between each contraction but not much. By 4am I knew I wanted to leave for hospital so we rang again and they said to come in as I was now established 3 in 10. I was sniffing clary sage during the car journey to try to sustain contractions and using tens plus hot water bottle. When we got there at 5.30 they examined me and I was 2 cm with waters ‘bulging’. They said they’d give us a couple of hours and we should try to keep contractions up as they’d naturally dropped where we’d moved from home to hospital. We went for a walk round the hospital grounds and my contractions really started to pick up from this point onwards.

By my next examination at 9 I was 9cm and although I’d wanted a water birth I was trNsitioning at this point - needed a poo, wanting to push  and couldn’t do a wee. And as we weren’t in the water room and they didn’t have the right PPE they weren’t going to move us but I really didn’t care because I just wanted to get on the bed on my knees and start pushing. At this point I wEnt on the gas and air and ramped the Tens machine up to the top level. The gas and air wAs incredible and Stu said the change in me with my first contraction on the gas and air was quite funny and he finally had his t shirt and skin back from my claws  From 9-11.21 when he was born I was on my knees on the bed, leaning on the headboard with Stu by my side reassuring me and holding the fan on me. As I’m deaf in one ear he was communicating to me what the midwives were saying and getting me to breath steadily as much as possible on the gas and air. The midwives were amazing at coaching me with when to push and how and they were hands on with down below (which i wanted) to protect as I pushed as much as possible. Being on the gas and air this bit is quite a blur to me but I just remember thinking my body was going primal and moving of its own accord and I didn’t really know what it was doing but to just go with it. After he was born they brought him through to the front and then helped me turn and have skin to skin with him. They did the placenta injection and put a catheter in because of my earlier not being able to pee because he was already so far down and checked me for tears. I was Completely oblivious to all this because I was focused on my baby. Because of my haemophilia condition (which meant I couldn’t have epidurals or spinal taps) I always knew I’d have a managed third stage with the placenta and when it didn’t start to come away with the injection they took us all up to the labour ward so that a consultant could assist. Fortunately I pushed it out with his guidance on gas and air. Then had more to skin and skin and feeding whilst they sewed up my 2nd degree tear - again completely oblivious to this and was enjoying time with my baby on my chest and they’d done numbing injections. Then we were wheeled back onto the MLU and discharged the following evening.

Yes it hurts but the old cliche that once the baby is in your arms you don’t see anything else is really true. The midwives were absolutely incredible and I can’t fault the experience with them.
Thanks so much for everything Cath

Mabel's Birth Story

A wonderful birth story for you from a powerful mother. The lovely Gemma and Liam came to my Faversham group class when pregnant with their second baby. This is such a wonderful read and a real testament to Gemma's strength and determination to birth her daughter feeling empowered, confident and supported so beautifully by Liam. Their plans changed not once but multiple times but I will let Gemma tell you all about that! I challenge you to remain dry eyed when you read this (I didn't!) Love Sophie x 

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Mabel's Birth Story:


When I was pregnant with my oldest daughter I was never particularly afraid of giving birth, I assumed it wouldn’t be pleasant but it would only be a day out of my life and I would get through it. My husband and I didn’t really prepare for the birth with regards to making it a more personal experience, we mostly found out about the process and pain relief methods. When it came to it, it wasn’t exactly straightforward. She was back to back and I couldn’t keep down any food or water due to continuously vomiting. That, combined with a few other issues, and I think both myself and my husband panicked a bit as we felt totally out of our depth.

When I became pregnant with our second daughter I was actually quite fearful of giving birth again and looked into hypnobirthing as a way to help. I felt a bit of a fraud when enquiring about the Kent Hypnobirthing course, like it should only be for first time mums and as it was our second time around I should have this whole birthing malarkey down! I communicated this in my enquiry and the lovely Ray replied and told me that in fact both her and Sophie had only come to hypnobirthing on their second births which really reassured me.

We took the course in Faversham with Sophie and both found it really helpful. It even made me view my first birth in a more positive light. Yes, our first birth wasn’t ideal but we got through it and had our beautiful daughter! We spent the next couple of months preparing for birth in a way we didn’t with our first. I listened to the MP3s and definitely took on Sophie’s advice about relaxing every day! We spent a really good evening choosing our birth playlist and discussing the pros and cons of each track, we took it very seriously! They had to be (on the whole) positive, not too fast and mostly mean something to the both us. We loved the playlist so much that we both listened to it in the lead up to the birth for our own enjoyment and I think it will continue to be one of our favourite playlists going forward which will be lovely as it has a whole new set of memories attached to it now.

We decided this time we would like to have a home birth and hire a pool as I wasn’t able to have a water birth the first time around and due to lack of rooms available, I had to labour on a full ward for a few hours which wasn’t the best. We planned the lighting, aromatherapy oils, music and we were really feeling positive about the whole thing until I had my 36 week scan which showed that the baby was estimated to be over the 95th percentile for weight. This meant that there was an increased risk of shoulder dystocia and at our home birth risk assessment we were advised not to have a home birth. Although I knew that I couldn’t be refused a home birth, we felt more comfortable listening to the medical advice in our case. We pushed to be able to go into the midwife led unit which is located in the ward next to the delivery suite in our hospital but the 95th percentile was over their guidelines and although they do judge each case on its own merit, they had recently had a bad case of shoulder dystocia and so weren’t willing to make an exception. 

Our plans changing from the lovingly planned home birth to going back to the delivery suite really set me back, much more than I thought it would. At 36 weeks pregnant and after weeks of feeling really positive and confident, I found myself feeling fearful of giving birth again. I contacted Sophie who was so helpful with practical advice about different people to contact and sending me positive birth stories. She reminded me to listen to the tracks and use my affirmations and generally start to focus again. My husband was brilliant at being positive about the change of plans and worked hard to reassure me that it didn’t have to be like last time and we could make a delivery suite birth into the kind of birth we had hoped for. Slowly I started to come round to the idea and ended up feeling back in control and positive about our change of plans.

I was scheduled for another scan at 39+6 and this time it showed the baby was on the 93rd percentile so I could now go to the midwife led unit or have a home birth. However, due to the fact the baby was still measuring large we decided to go to the midwife led unit as we were very close by in case there were any complications.

The night before I went into labour I had no indications of what was to come, I was actually joking with my husband about how lazy our little girl was being as she just didn’t seem to want to make a move to join us just yet! My husband wanted to try out some acupressure techniques that he found on YouTube that were meant to trigger labour (he is still convinced that’s what happened in our case!). So at 10pm while massaging my very swollen feet, he did a few of these acupressure techniques and we went to sleep. I woke up at 2am with some tightenings but I wasn’t sure whether it was just strong Braxton Hicks again as I had had this a few times in recent weeks. I went downstairs to sit on my birth ball and start listening to our playlist (I think I really I knew this was it which is why I started listening to the playlist). About half hour later I realised that my waters were starting to trickle when I stood up so I went to put on a pad. After a few more trickles I realised that my waters were very slightly yellowy so I called the midwife led unit and after listening to me experience a surge and hearing that my waters were a bit yellow, they advised me to go and see the assessment unit at the delivery suite in case I had meconium in my waters but that if I didn’t, they would be happy to have me.

I called my mum to come and look after our daughter and she was over in 15 minutes while my husband and I gathered our things. At this point I was having a tightening about every 8 minutes but I was fully expecting them to slow down with the transfer to hospital and to be sent back home to labour for longer. When we got in the car we put our playlist on and began the drive. It was definitely uncomfortable being forced to sit down during my surges. I wanted to lean forward but couldn’t find a safe way of doing this in the car. We arrived at the hospital just after 4am and I had to stop a few times on the walk to the delivery suite and lean on the wall to breathe through my contractions. They seemed to be coming more regularly than they were at home which briefly made me think about my previous labour (irregular but frequent contractions as she was back to back). However I made myself focus on the present and remember that this time didn’t have to be the same. We got to the delivery suite and we were taken into a room to be assessed. The midwife took away my pad to test my waters for meconium and unfortunately it did have it in which meant I wasn’t able to go to the midwife led unit or use the pool. Despite how much the thought of this scenario bothered me in the last few weeks I found that it didn’t actually phase me when it came down to it, with the help of my husband I remained focused on breathing through my surges and just staying present. The midwife wanted to just observe me for a while to see how I was doing but also wanted to monitor the baby to make sure she wasn’t in distress due to the meconium. I said that I wanted to stay active and she said that would be OK after she’d been able to monitor her for a little while. Laying on the bed was not great, my body wanted to move around and I found I was in a lot of pain laying back. Around this time my blood pressure was taken and found to be really high, I also started vomiting so I agreed to have an anti sickness shot as I didn’t want to become dehydrated like I was in my first birth. When the anti sickness kicked in I was given some medication to bring down my blood pressure too as they were quite concerned with how high it was.

After a little while, during one contraction, laying on the bed all became too much and I just had to get up during it, I physically couldn’t lay back on the bed any longer as it was going against everything my body was telling me to do. The midwife then put the clip on the baby’s head to monitor her and that allowed me to move around more freely which was much better. My surges were now coming about 4 times every 10 minutes and I was on gas and air. I was surprised at how quickly I seemed to be progressing, especially as my previous birth had lasted 3 days! It wasn’t long after I reached the ‘transition’ point where I thought I couldn’t do it and started asking for an epidural. My husband and the midwife kept reassuring me how well I was doing and that I was doing it and soon I found myself really going into my own little zone. I was on the bed on my knees, leaning over the head of the bed and rocking my hips. It was not a conscious decision, my body was just taking over and it felt good to listen to what it wanted to do. I focussed on listening to the music and began to zone out everything else in the room. Then in what seemed like no time (but in reality it must have been a while!) I remember “coming round” a bit and starting to hear the midwife talking to me about pushing. I really tried to focus on what she was saying and follow her coaching. It felt really challenging but also like I was in control, totally different to my previous birth. Then at 9.13am, our little Mabel was born weighing 9lb 6oz. The relief after was amazing, it’s like I came from being somewhere far away to being back in the room again. After she had been checked I lay down on the bed and we had our first cuddle and feed, it was amazing how quickly and easily she latched on. 

I am so glad that we chose to do the hypnobirthing course with Sophie, I don’t know what would’ve happened if we hadn’t but without the support I think Mabel’s birth would’ve been very different.  It allowed both myself and my husband to have confidence in ourselves and our choices. It really did bring me a sort of closure with regards to my first birth too and as we are not planning on having any more children I feel like I went out on a high! 

June's Birth Story

I'm am so, so pleased to be sharing this amazing story. When Charlotte and I first spoke on the phone she was very fearful of what her birth would bring, in fact all through the course she was very sure that she would give birth in the hospital. I was so excited when she told me about June's birth and that she had chosen the Midwife led unit in the end. Not because it matters where a person gives birth, that is totally (TOTALLY) their choice but because it shows how far she had come. She was choosing where to give birth from a place of confidence not fear. She was choosing to believe in her body and that is a very powerful decision! Now grab a cup of tea and have a read. (Ray)


It was about time that I shared my birth story with you. And may I start by saying that like many, the idea of giving birth seemed like the most impossible and scary thing I could ever imagine. As soon as I was pregnant I panicked about how this baby was coming out of me, and this is where I discovered Kent Hypnobirthing and it was quite honestly life changing. 

I was 41 + 1 days pregnant. My midwife had been fantastic, and I wasn't due to see her again until I was 41+ 3, which would be ten days after I last saw her. There was no pressure for a sweep or induction, however by this point I was well and truly fed up. Everything hurt, and the anticipation of becoming a mother and finally meeting this baby girl was all too much. If the baby wasn't here by that Saturday, I had discussed it with my boyfriend and I was going to have a sweep, I didn't want to be pregnant for another minute. Luckily for me it didn't come to that....

I woke up on the morning of Thursday 27th of April at about 2 AM for my tenth toilet trip of the night, luckily that night I switched the bathroom light on, and had, what I now know to be, a 'show'. After 20 minutes of googling it I decided to go back to sleep and proceeded to wake up every two hours with the typical cramp like period pains that lots of people tell you about. I decided not to wake my partner and tell him, as I thought 'maybe this is it' and if so I would need him to get as much rest as possible to help me through it all. I woke up in the morning and the cramp like period sensations were still continuing, I thought if this was the day it was happening that I had time to send Jack to the tip to clear the rest of the things on the balcony that I've been staring at me for the past three months. I also made an epic brunch of poached eggs on muffins with chorizo, avocado all topped off with hollandaise sauce, very pleased about that! I also did some cleaning, as again, if this was the big day I couldn't be bringing my baby home to a dirty house (it was anything but, after giving birth and having a baby I truly understand what a messy / unclean house means). 

After this we decided to go for a walk, as we had done every day for the past three weeks. I'd been really fed up and quite emotional, each day was a mental struggle, not to mention the Snooker World Championships were on....much to my boyfriend's delight. During our seaside walk, I then decided I wanted a McDonald's cheeseburger (I finally gave in to the cravings), followed by some ice cream at our favourite gelato shop, all in all the day was going well. Every so often I had to stop because the cramps intensified but wasn't really sure if I was in labour or not at this point, and I really didn't want to get my hopes up. 

We got home and the cramps were still happening and becoming a little more frequent, whilst messaging a friend she reminded me about the tens machine I had, so I decided to put that on and bounced up and in my birth ball whilst watching episodes of Friends remembering about all the oxytocin and I need to release. I was doing my breathing and my boyfriend was secretly timing, what I now know to be contractions. Because he'd been on the Hypnobirthing course with me he really did play an essential role in the whole labour and birth process which I am eternally grateful for. 

I carried on like this for a few hours made a few phone calls and watched a few more episodes of Friends and then all of a sudden I decided that I needed to call the hospital, the sensations were intensifying and I needed some reassurance. This is the point for me which was the lowest, as the lady on the other end of the phone essentially laughed at me and said I couldn't be in labour because I can still talk. Being typically British I tried my hardest to keep myself together whilst on the phone and actually was a lot worse when I was off the phone, however her telling me that really made me lose confidence in myself and in my body. I burst into tears and Jack had to really calm me down. 

However she did say that she would put me through to someone at the MLU who I could speak too. The midwife on the phone said I could go into the MLU if I wanted to, it was really up to me. Jack knew to keep me a home for as long as possible, so he really tried to persuade me to stay at home for longer. Eventually I insisted I wanted to go in and he went downstairs to pack the car. When I went in the car there was classical music playing and everything was calm and luckily it was dark outside.

It was about 7:45pm, and on the way to the hospital, which is only two minutes drive, we nearly collided with another vehicle. He came out at us at the roundabout out of nowhere, we couldn't believe it as the breaks slammed on. Jack was brilliant managed to remain calm throughout. As soon as I went into the MLU and I met the midwife on duty who was called Emily, I burst into tears. I told her I couldn't do this, she was just what I needed, and she spoke to me in a really soft calming voice and asked me if I'd like to be examined? I thought about it for a moment and decided it was best to know where I was at, so she examined me and I found out I was 3 cm dilated. Emily told me that the MLU was empty that evening and I was more than welcome to stay, get into the pool, eat some food and just see how things progressed. This is exactly what I did, she brought me a whole tray of snacks: cheese, biscuits, crisps and ice cold apple juice. The birthing pool was filled up, and it was so much bigger and warmer than I imagined. The lights were down really low, and I continued contracting, breathing in and breathing out with Jack there to talk me through it. Music wise we hadn't put a playlist together which maybe was a bit of a mistake, but I was more than happy with the old school hits on the radio ranging from 70s disco to a bit of Take That. 

At this point I had been having contractions for quite a while, and they asked me again if I'd like to stay or go home. There was no way I was going home, so they admitted me as a patient which I was over the moon about. After some hours, another midwife came and asked it I was I aware of my pain relief options, and soon as she said this I wanted the gas and air. In hindsight I would definitely avoid people saying the word pain relief or using that language whilst in labour for as long as possible, as soon as she said this I thought I needed it where as before she said this, I hadn't really thought about it too much. 

I continued with the gas and air and my contractions were now going through my whole body. Before they had been quite manageable on all fours, where as now they had me standing up and walking around in the pool. Emily asked me if I would like to be examined again, I decided yes, I would and I got out the pool and onto the bed. She examined me, and as soon as she'd finished the examination I went to the toilet, as i'd be drinking so many fluids.....ice cold apple juice was my new favourite thing at this point. This is again where hypnobirthing helped my boyfriend, as I now know that I was still 3 cm still at this point but Jack said that I could not hear this news. He ensured that Emily only told me positive news, I went back into the pool and Emily told me that everything is progressing nicely she didn't mention anything about measurements and I didn't ask.

I felt really comfortable in the MLU, the atmosphere, the lighting, and Emily all made me feel really comfortable, however by this point it was probably three or four in the morning and the contractions were getting more intense and happening more frequently. They monitored the babies heartbeat throughout, and her position, which I was more than happy with, they then asked me if I would like to to be examined again, and I declined. However the surges were becoming really intense and I decided that I would really like the next level of pain relief. I requested pethidine, which took quite some time for it to arrive, as they needed to find a doctor. When it arrived I had to get out the pool, and I would have to stay out the pool for at least three hours. The idea of the pethidine was for both Jack and me to get some rest, the room we were in was huge, and they'd made a bed for us both to relax in. I decided against getting examined before the injection, and then the rollercoaster really began. Over the next two hours I could not sit still, I couldn't do anything but pace. I wanted to go to the toilet but I couldn't sit down to go, I couldn't even relieve myself stood up. I also couldn't sit down on the bed, all I wanted to do was walk walk walk around that room. Although Jack was trying to be really positive, I knew he really wanted me to get rest and kept saying I should sit down. However I just couldn't explain to him what was happening and I physically couldn't sit still or sit down even if I wanted too, after two hours of this and breathing all the way through, the midwives offered me another examination which I decided was a good idea. During this time I was sick four times and also I'm not sure if was my mucus plug but had something very big and something very red slap down on the floor. I remember Jack asking me what the noise was, and although I was in discomfort, I remember being really excited to see something that big come out of my body as I knew it was another step closer to the end.

It took at least half an hour for me to be able to get on the bed for them to examine me. This is where it gets really good, when they examined me they said I was 7-8 cm dilated. I jumped for joy (I actually didn't, but mentally I did), I knew this meant I wasn't far away, I was near the magic TEN CENTIMETRES! It was approaching 8 AM at this point and Emily who had seen me all the way through the evening was due to finish her shift, I couldn't believe it. But then they brought in just what I needed my new midwife Cara. Emily was what I would describe as kind, softly spoken and exactly what I needed to get me through to that point. Cara was, as my boyfriend describes, the kind of coach that you need in football when you have five minutes to score to win the FA Cup. Now that I was this far, the contractions didn't really let up, I kept breathing, using gas and air however Cara told me I couldn't get back in the pool till at least 8:30am because then that would be three hours since I had the pethidine injection. I begged to go back in the pool as I knew that the contractions were much more manageable when I was in the water, however rules are rules. Just before I got back in the pool my waters broke in spectacular fashion, I would call it true Hollywood style, again I was elated I knew that this was another sign that meant I was closer to the end results. Without Hypnobirthing I wouldn't know any of what was happening to my body, what all these different signals were, so for this and was truly grateful. I finally got back in the pool which was now full of fresh water, and it was finally 8:30am. 

And this bit is a bit of a blur, I remember breathing breathing breathing and using the gas and air to the point Cara maybe suggested I could use the gas and air a little less.....Jack told me he was trying to hold my hands and I just didn't want him to touch me. I knew from what Ray had said, that I needed to try and to not clench my hands, and I needed to relax as much as possible. I was really in the zone, even one of my favourite songs came on from Rocky which is Eye of the Tiger, and I didn't even acknowledge it. The noises that are coming out of me at this point really primal, again Ray told us that this might happen. I just remember breathing really intensely and really heavily - I knew I was so so close.

At this point I had to laugh (in hindsight) I remember that my bowels were now emptying, this was being cleaned up instantly, with what can only be described as a sieve from the poundshop. Apparently I came out of my zone and concentrating on breathing to tell Jack off he was trying to help them with the clean up operation. I think I told him he's not paid to do that, if the roles were reversed I wouldn't be caught doing the same that is for sure. 

This next bit wasn't quite as calm as I'd imagined it, but my body definitely took over. I'd reached the part I'd learnt about called transition, which I was not expecting to be so strong. I thought it would be a bit like when you are hungover and can't be bothered to get off the settee to go and get a Domino's Pizza but eventually you got up and did it. I remember shouting quite vividly at Cara, Jack and the other midwife that was in the room that I couldn't do this and quite frankly they could just get the baby out with me or otherwise forget it. This is where everyone was amazing, telling me the right things I needed to hear. They told me I WAS doing this and I COULD get the baby out. I had already come this far and there was just a little bit further to go, eventually I could feel the baby right near the exit I wanted to push but Cara said don't push yet and again from Hypnobirthing I remembered that there was two different times or feelings of when I should push, so somewhere in my subconscious this was embedded within me and I held off pushing for as long as I could. 

Eventually I told Cara I couldn't hold off any more and she said I should push, she was behind me with a mirror telling me she could see the head and to wait until the next contraction before I pushed for the shoulders. I managed to do this, and then June powered on out through a pool of blood. Jack said it was the most amazing thing he'd ever seen, they brought June up onto my chest and I just couldn't believe that it was all done and that she was finally here. I remember just holding her bum and staring at this little squishy face, which is now so recognisable. Her umbilical cord was abnormally short so I had to really bend over to make sure that I wasn't tugging on my placenta but also that she was above water enough so that she wasn't swallowing it.

The other midwife that was in the room, usually works on labour ward and she had a face that was a little concerned because June had come out the pool and she was blue. We knew that this was common with water births, however we were still quite alarmed as we'd totally forgotten this information. I remember asking Cara if everything was okay repeatedly and she kept telling me it was all totally normal. Jack then cut the umbilical cord and straight away the colour started coming to June, she started to turn a lovely pink. After what seemed like forever, she started to cry. They then took her off my chest so that I can get out the pool and then Jack held her. 

Before they took me out the pool they mentioned in my notes that I had said I would like to birth the placenta naturally, and this is also their recommendation on the MLU in Margate. By this point I couldn't imagine birthing another thing, so I said I wanted the injection....Jack tried to talk me round as he knew I wasn't thinking straight. They got me out the pool and onto a stool, rather than the injection my midwife said why not push once more and see what happens. At this point my placenta slapped down into a box that was placed underneath the squatting stool and that was that. Even though I've seen pictures of it, I couldn't help but stare at it, it was so much bigger than i'd imagined. And after the placenta came out I was over the moon. 

They supported me over to the bed, my legs were shaky, and then came at me with the trolley, I was sure they were going to tell me I would need five stitches or more.....but actually I only had two grazes. It was explained I could have one stitch if I wanted, but that would cause me as much aggravation as the graze itself. If I just looked after it over the next few days - I'd be fine. So that was that, no stitches for me, I was elated and mostly in disbelief. 

As I managed to drink so many fluids during labour to keep myself hydrated, this was the point I just couldn't keep any more liquid inside of me. I'd been relieving myself in the pool, but now it was time for me to go on the bed. Apparently you're supposed to have your first wee measured, I'd already put a stop to that. And forgive me if this isn't what you want to read, but I'm sharing all the graphic details because I think it's so important to know that when you're in labour you just do not care about these things, I felt really free. It's really instinctive, for those people that think very worried about pooing during labour quite frankly you just don't give a shit (even though you've just given about 10 in the pool). Next up was a shower, which was just the best feeling ever, and food has never tasted so good. 

We went into the MLU at 8 PM on Thursday night, and June was born at 9 AM Friday morning. In total I was in there for 13 hours before she arrived, and I was in the pool for the majority of that apart from the three hours where I had the pethidine injection. We then stayed in for one night and then it was off home. June's now 9 weeks old, and I can't remember life before she was here. 

Myself and Jack cannot recommend Hypnobirthing or Ray enough, knowing what was happening to my body, knowing what I needed to do to help my body during the labour process was so enlightening. It also gave Jack a really important role to play too. 

The midwifes at the Margate MLU were beyond fantastic, and I recommend Hypnobirthing to everybody I see that is pregnant (sorry about that), it's really changed the way I think about myself and my body. I think it's really important for women to be empowered to be able to make choices about themselves during this unique experience. 

Lots of people ask me how the birth was with a pained face, and I always respond with the fact that I had a really positive experience. I tell my birth story to as many people as I can (who ask to hear it mind), not because I want to boast, but because I want to change the stigma about birth being negative horrible process. Yes, it's not a walk in the park but my goodness with all the tools I had in my kit from Hypnobirthing, it helped me get through it. I honestly believe it gave me the best start to motherhood I could of wished for. 

Auden's birth story (part 2)

[Now full disclosure before we dive in to part 2 of Han's story (you can read Part 1 here), Han is married to my brother, she is my best friend and to add to the existing in each other's pockets nature of our relationship she also lives next door to me. All of this meant I was right next door as she gave birth, and through our thin walls I could hear the pool being blown up, and as things progressed the beautiful moans, growls and roars that so many birthing women make, coming from their dining room. To me those noises are amazing - they tell us when birth is getting close, they help her navigate the sensations she is presented with. Read on for a beautiful re-telling of the day Auden joined the family (Ray).]

 

Labour

I can confirm that starting labour with a celebratory chippy tea and Prosecco is a wonderful way to begin the most truly epic work you’ll ever undertake. We returned home feeling calm and excited and Dave put Frankie, our 5 year old, to sleep. I wanted to keep oxytocin flowing, and prevent my body going into ‘high alert’ sogot I got in to bed and watched some Gilmore Girls (my pregnancy/new born days guilty pleasure) during which I was breathing through my rapidly increasing surges.

In between reassuring and holding me, Dave bustled about; tidying, lighting the fire and candles and blowing the pool up. A storm had picked up outside sending gusts of wind howling down the chimney and sneaking in through the gaps in the floor boards. But it felt wonderful to be cocooned inside our home in our candle lit 'birth cave’, curtains drawn against the squall. Around 9 pm I began to slowly shut down to the outside world, and go within myself.  I leaned on the kitchen counter and moaned and hummed through the surges. I then moved into the lounge and laboured in front of the fire whilst leaning on the sofa. I felt relaxed and in control. Dave was secretly timing them and started talking about calling Lucy, my doula and Sue, my midwife. I wasn't convinced things had progressed enough but he informed me the surges were 2 minutes apart and lasting a minute and a half. Lucy arrived around 11 and Sue around midnight. She took one look at me, and called the second midwife. It looked like birth was imminent with the regularity and strength of my surges. It certainly felt intense but I had a niggling feeling that something wasn’t quite right and that I still had some way to go. As it turned out I was right, and in it for the long slog. 

My surges continued every 1 or 2 minutes or faster, and growing in strength for the following 9 hours. Yikes. 

There was enough of a gap between surges for me to catch my breath and steady myself for the next one; and a definite predictable rhythm (unlike last time where I think my panic made them disordered) but not enough to process any of it, rest or even sit. I kept needing the toilet, and found that I wanted to be private too. Consequently I found myself most comfortable labouring in the bathroom with Dave and a single lit candle, watching the silhouettes of the trees thrashing around in the storm outside. 

Here's the things that supported my labour:

• Breathing. Rather than focussing on the physical sensations of labour, I focussed on keeping my breathing regular, humming, and a breathy 'ahhh' noise, depending on the strength of the surge. 

• My labour ‘dance’; standing and swaying my hips in a sort of figure of 8. 

• Pressure and constant rubbing on my lower back. Sue, Dave and Lucy all took turns, but Dave mostly bore the brunt of the arm ache afterwards.

• Smiling right into the face of each contraction. Sometimes I’d see a contraction building as a sort of menacing sentient thing, and I’d remind myself to breathe and hum, experience its grip on my body fade, then laugh in it’s face as it cowered. 

• Using laughing as a sort of vocal technique helped to keep my face relaxed and body calm. (sounds odd but it worked!) 

• My Suzy Ashworth birth affirmations which ended up being on repeat for 9 hours- my poor birth team! I zoned In and out of them but it felt calming to constantly reassure myself that I was calm, confident and safe. That my baby knew what it was doing. That my surges could not be bigger than me because because they were me. That I could do this. 

• My doula, Lucy. I got a lot of strength simply knowing that she, and all she represented, was there. Her presence reminded me of all the fears we had picked apart, and the demons we slayed together. She reminded me of the confidence I had built in myself and my body. At a more bodily level, she brought snacks and water and kept the pool warm. She placed a cool flannel on me when I needed grounding in the last hour. She tidied up, fetched things we needed (often without us even having to mention it) replaced the candles and stoked the fire, all of which meant Dave could stay with me, and my birth cave still felt cosy and welcoming. She also ensured my desire to be alone was honoured by my midwives as much as safely possible.

My mindset preparation with Ray and Lucy clearly paid off. With those things my intense back labour was genuinely manageable for 90% of the time.  I was focussed within, in my zone, eyes closed, riding the waves. Bear in mind my baby was (unbeknownst to me at this point) back to back which is supposed to be more painful and I thought I had a low tolerance for pain. Huh. 

The wild last hour 

I had deliberately not wanted to know the time or how far along I was; I just went on riding my surges. But I began to feel tired around the same time I noticed it was getting light outside. How could I have been labouring so intensely for so long?! The birth my midwife thought was imminent given the strength of my surges was still not happening 9 hours later. Sue gently informed me that she would need to leave soon to sleep which I really wanted to avoid. The second midwife had already left because it still hadn't happened.  I felt exhausted and was losing heart. I was at a crossroads and decided to be checked to see how dilated I was; Sue would stay if I was close but would need to leave if I wasn't far along. I was 7 cm’s dilated, Sue said she'd stay (hurray!) and also informed me that my baby was back to back (oh no!). My world rocked around me. I- with my low pain tolerance- was calmly birthing at home with a back to back baby. Whoa. 

This explained the fast contractions vs slow progress, constant toilet trips and agonising lower back. I had a little panic but I gave myself a talking too. I reminded myself of the journey i’d taken, and the confident, calm mindset I had slowly pieced together for myself. I would just keep riding it. My baby was close now and there was no way I was going to hospital. I set my jaw, took a deep breath, and readied myself to carry on. 

My waters broke during this check and when the next surge came, it came like sudden thunder. I climbed back in the pool and what I now know as transition, hit. Really fucking hard. It took only one hour from the point my waters broke at 7cm to him coming out so it was fast, plus he came out facing the right way up which means he did all his turning in that last hour. Ouch. It felt like my pelvis was trying to break free of my spine. My breathy 'ahhh's became shouts and the surges were much longer too. I remember saying 'whoooaaaa' through one of them and asking 'what was THAT?!' afterwards. There wasn't time for an answer before another thunderous surge hit. I felt like I’d transported to another place, alone; it was frightening and actually quite trippy.  My body entirely took over. It raged and thundered, clenched and shuddered, screamed and roared. I panicked. I remembered some advice from a friend who wished she’d asked for gas and air at her home birth, and I promptly asked for it. (a detour from birth plan A). This helped me to stop the panic, control my breathing again and took the edge off the pain. I needed Dave to rub my back really hard, constantly. Lucy repeatedly placed a cool flannel on my face and neck, whilst Sue sat close, held my hand, and reminded me to relax my face and breathe. Lucy and Dave's hands on my body and Sue's voice pierced the fog to reach 'the place' I was in, in an eerily disembodied way. I remember saying to them 'don't stop!’I was so grateful for those gentle touches and words that led me back in the room, back to reality: I wasn't alone. I was loved and supported. I could do this. This was normal. Everything was ok.

I am still amazed at the unknown and involuntary strength I experienced in my own body. I suddenly began to bear down; the most overwhelming and powerful instinct. I didn't push at any point. My 'aahhh's were ending in low guttural growling sounds that emerged from a part of me I didn't know existed. I felt my baby slowly descend through my birth canal, crown and emerge. (I felt that! I mean, whoa!) When Sue told me to stop and breathe his head out, I was miraculously somehow able to stop that powerful bearing down instinct, and do it. It's one of the proudest, most defining moments of my life. My baby came out in two enormous surges whilst I was on my hands and knees in the water and I immediately turned, did a bit of birth pool gymnastics to disentangle his cord, and pulled him to my chest in disbelief. 

It was OVER! I DID IT! He was HERE! 

Dave was sobbing and utterly in awe. I was shaking and crying and babbling 'my baby, my baby, my baby!’ just like I greeted Frankie-Rose. To finally have my slippery wriggly squawking babe on my chest was so very sweet. He was here! He calmed immediately and lay on me with hisbeautiful dark eyes open; blinking and staring at his new world. (Here! He was here!)

If I was indeed somewhere else during that wild last hour, then I returned a different woman. I had managed to birth my baby at home, free from intervention. In those moments I was triumphant. Fearless. Free of demons.

Afterwards

After an hour and a half of fruitless pushing I opted to have the injection to birth my placenta which gave immediate relief. Lucy wrapped us up in blankets on the sofa and brought me tea and some fresh mango (divine!) whilst my baby- whom we later named Auden- and I breastfed and snuggled, and I basked in the glow of my newfound strength and the sweet relief of it being over. 

Frankie was heart-rendingly sweet when meeting her brother; 'Hi baby, this is your big sister. I talked to you in mummy's tummy!' It felt incredibly luxurious to climb into our freshly made bed with my whole family shortly afterwards where we just looked and looked at our baby. I remember us all wallowing in our duvet; me taking turns breathing each of my children in, in a decidedly feline way; body almost vibrating with oxytocin and love hormones. Blessedly, Lucy cleared up downstairs, put the pool away, prepared my placenta and brought us food- meaning our house felt peaceful, clean and tidy.  

Lots of people who have home births talk about feeling invincible afterwards but I didn't. I felt glowy, triumphant, relieved and so glad to hold my baby, but I was bone weary. My labour, by all accounts, was hard. I also initially felt disappointed about that last hour of my labour. I didn't expect it’s wildness or pain. I thought I had really lost control, but my team told me I held it together ‘beautifully' considering the back to back labour, and even smiled and laughed through some of the last surges too. They talked of feeling honoured to witness me, which stupefied me initially, how could THAT be an honour?! But I now see that it was. It just felt so much more intense, so much more animal, than I anticipated it would. 

It felt like I was somewhere else, maybe even someone else for that last hour, like I journeyed into some primal female place to bring forth my baby. I didn't know I could make noises that sounded like that, or that my body was capable of such involuntary strength. Now I've had time to debrief and process it all I actually feel honoured that I experienced it. Like my midwife later said, there is always an element of wildness, of loss of control in birthing, and that’s what makes birth the raw, beautiful, life changing thing that it is. I tapped into the same primal mammalian instinct that millions of women have tapped into before me. In my lack of control I was actually my strongest, my most profound womanly self. 

The day my second baby was born was the most surreal, exhausting, transcendent day of my life.

[This post was cross posted on Han's blog Seeds and Stitches, You can read more about her birth preparations and generally gorgeous life over there.]