Went into labour Thursday at 12.30 am. Thought it was more of the twinges I’d had but started to realise that they were coming more often and not disappearing. Didn’t wake Stu because I was trying to rest as much as possible and wanted him to as well knowing that it could be some time of this going on. By the time his alarm went off at 8am I was sure they were coming regularly enough that I was in early labour as from 6-8am I timed them and they were every 10 mins. During the day they continued and varied in regularity from anywhere between every 3-8 mins. I used the Freya app to time them.
By 1pm I got Stu to put the Tens machine on me so that I could start using it. By the evening we were watching funny films, using massage and candles to build up oxytocin as much as possible. By about 10pm films went off and I was doing a lot of standing and hands around Stu to work through each contraction as they were picking up in intensity. Had a hot water bottle on my lower tummy. Used hynpo breathing and Stu was doing it with me to try to get me into the rhythm of it as they grew stronger. He was timing contractions from this point onwards and I was going up through the Tens machine levels.
By 1am they were coming close to 3 in 10 so we rang MLU and they said they didn’t think I was quite there and to rest at home and call again in an hour. I managed to fall asleep a bit between each contraction but not much. By 4am I knew I wanted to leave for hospital so we rang again and they said to come in as I was now established 3 in 10. I was sniffing clary sage during the car journey to try to sustain contractions and using tens plus hot water bottle. When we got there at 5.30 they examined me and I was 2 cm with waters ‘bulging’. They said they’d give us a couple of hours and we should try to keep contractions up as they’d naturally dropped where we’d moved from home to hospital. We went for a walk round the hospital grounds and my contractions really started to pick up from this point onwards.
By my next examination at 9 I was 9cm and although I’d wanted a water birth I was trNsitioning at this point - needed a poo, wanting to push and couldn’t do a wee. And as we weren’t in the water room and they didn’t have the right PPE they weren’t going to move us but I really didn’t care because I just wanted to get on the bed on my knees and start pushing. At this point I wEnt on the gas and air and ramped the Tens machine up to the top level. The gas and air wAs incredible and Stu said the change in me with my first contraction on the gas and air was quite funny and he finally had his t shirt and skin back from my claws From 9-11.21 when he was born I was on my knees on the bed, leaning on the headboard with Stu by my side reassuring me and holding the fan on me. As I’m deaf in one ear he was communicating to me what the midwives were saying and getting me to breath steadily as much as possible on the gas and air. The midwives were amazing at coaching me with when to push and how and they were hands on with down below (which i wanted) to protect as I pushed as much as possible. Being on the gas and air this bit is quite a blur to me but I just remember thinking my body was going primal and moving of its own accord and I didn’t really know what it was doing but to just go with it. After he was born they brought him through to the front and then helped me turn and have skin to skin with him. They did the placenta injection and put a catheter in because of my earlier not being able to pee because he was already so far down and checked me for tears. I was Completely oblivious to all this because I was focused on my baby. Because of my haemophilia condition (which meant I couldn’t have epidurals or spinal taps) I always knew I’d have a managed third stage with the placenta and when it didn’t start to come away with the injection they took us all up to the labour ward so that a consultant could assist. Fortunately I pushed it out with his guidance on gas and air. Then had more to skin and skin and feeding whilst they sewed up my 2nd degree tear - again completely oblivious to this and was enjoying time with my baby on my chest and they’d done numbing injections. Then we were wheeled back onto the MLU and discharged the following evening.
Yes it hurts but the old cliche that once the baby is in your arms you don’t see anything else is really true. The midwives were absolutely incredible and I can’t fault the experience with them.
Thanks so much for everything Cath
Harry's Birth Story
It's about time I shared my birth story, so here goes! It's a long one I'm afraid. This is baby number two for us and it's taken a few years to get to this point due to a very traumatic experience with our first.
Just a little insight; I didn't enjoy the pregnancy as it seemed like every day brought a new set of challenges and towards the end I was diagnosed with obstetric choleostasis (OC) and was told I had to be induced the next morning. I spent 2 days on the antenatal ward until they finally had space for me in delivery. Luckily they just had to break my waters but with the OC and meconium in my waters they decided I needed an oxytocin drip immediately. After a few hours, nothing was really happening so they turned it up to full dose before realising my waters hadn't been broken correctly. That's when things got pretty intense and quickly. The pain was surreal! Fast forward several more unbearable hours and my daughter was finally born.
The next year was a challenge with both PTSD and PND which I refused to get help for. I struggled to breast feed and felt guilty/a failure when I gave up. I was doing my best but every one else seemed to be doing so much better. So, 3 years later I finally decided I wanted another but was terrified. The chances of OC again are high and I couldn't go through the same trauma. I managed to push it to the back of my mind and found out I was pregnant, only to have a very early miscarriage a couple of days later. I was so upset but it showed me how much I wanted it so when I found out I was pregnant again I was over the moon.
I decided it had to be better this time so I found hypnobirthing in my area and met Christy. I'm so glad we did! Towards the end of this pregnancy (which was going so well) I was being monitored for OC again which never materialised, when out of the blue they said I had preeclampsia! Within a couple of days I went from being told they just needed to monitor me to 'we strongly recommend we induce you tomorrow'.
I was very upset but my husband was so supportive and we had learned so much from Christy. So I had a sweep and went home where I used everything I could think of to get this baby out! MP3s, birth ball, massage, spicy food, keeping active and trying to stay calm. When I was checked at the hospital the next day I was already 6-7cm and I had no idea I was already in labour! I felt very relaxed and after being told that, I was very happy! I decided to let them break my waters to speed things along and I started to get more intense surges but they were very manageable and we laugh about the fact I was eating my dinner while breathing through them. I timed it so that I could fit 3 mouthfuls in before my husband had to start with the counter pressure! I was gutted I didn't get to finish my ice cream before I really needed to start pushing!
No time for the pool and we had bought so much stuff to help such as my MP3s, music, aromatherapy oils, massage oil, LED candles etc but didn't even unpack them! I used all the breathing techniques with the gas and I didn't feel like I needed anything else. We used the BRAIN acronym a lot and the midwives were amazing.
For anyone worried about a hospital birth I can say that Pembury are so on board with hypnobirthing and thoroughly encourage it. From breaking my waters to giving birth to our little boy took a meer 2 hours and 45 minutes and I was so proud of myself and my husband for getting through it so easily compared to last time. It was hard work through transition, I wont lie, but wow, what an experience.
My luck didn't last long as my placenta got stuck and I ended up in theatre under general anaesthetic to remove it. I had lost an excessive amount of blood and was so grateful I had a hospital birth as they dealt with it all quickly and the staff were great. It was quite a long recovery to get my blood and energy levels back but regardless, the overall experience was still amazing.
Asking questions, making my own choices throughout and using all the tools learnt through our course made the world of difference and I can't begin to express my thanks to Christy!
You are one powerful Mother! What an amazing birth story, thank you so much for sharing it Natalie! To attend, or enquire about, a course with Christy or another of our fabulous teachers head here
Maya's Birth Story
‘As long as the baby is healthy’
This is was my mantra. After four miscarriages and years spent squinting for second lines on tests, my hopes for my second labour had always just begun and ended with having a healthy child.
It had gone from being the most important thing to the only important thing. My own needs and wants were so far in the background that it was easy to forget I had any agency in the process at all. Pregnancy and birth was something that needed to happen despite me - my high BMI and incompetent cervix - not because of me. My body had let me down so many times that I couldn’t imagine a birth where it wouldn’t.
As I approached viability with this pregnancy, I finally started to believe that we may actually be completing the family we’d started with our three-year-old daughter.
This would be my last labour, an end to a lot difficult journey.
The first time round had seen a 16-hour labour, two hours of fruitless pushing, forceps, an episiotomy and a later tearing of my stitches.
I wanted something better this time.
A friend recommended The Calm Birth School after the techniques helped her remain focused through her ceiling falling down mid-birth!
I wasn’t convinced.
How on earth could huffing and puffing stop a pain that’d previously made me feel like I was dying?
Still sceptical, I contacted Katy after seeing a post on Facebook and quickly laid out my potted history. She was reassuring, calm and positive from the outset.
By the time the course rolled round it transpired that my lovely husband was even more of a cynic than I was. He didn’t want to buy into anything that he felt would impact my willingness to listen to medical opinion in an emergency. That meant that I attended the course alone.
Thankfully the other people there were amazing. We’d all coincidentally had children before and were looking for a way to make our second labours more positive.
Katy instantly put me at ease.
Everything she advocated – visualisation, relaxation, audio tracks - had a solid physiological basis.
She gave us plenty of space to talk about our previous experiences and healing old wounds as well as spending time talking about C-sections, inductions and births that might not necessarily run to plan.
I’d always felt that my medical history was too complex for anything like an ideal birth. I worried that the course was primarily for people lucky enough to have serene home births. I was completely wrong.
I left the weekend feeling instantly calmer and more empowered.
Over the rest of my pregnancy, I actually began to enjoy playing the MP3’s and practicing the breathing techniques. It became a quiet time at the end of each day just for me and the baby to bond.
I began to dilate as soon as my cervical suture was removed at 37 weeks. A week on I was still only 2.5cm dilated and the midwife warned it could be hours or weeks.
Where I'd once have been impatient, I found myself taking the opportunity to appreciate the last days of pregnancy.
Four days on, I woke at 6.30am and felt slightly wet.
I went to the bathroom where my waters released. This was exactly the same way my first labour had started. This time though, I wasn’t scared. I had a dozen comedy films recorded, playlists of music made, affirmations written up and candles by the bath. Even when I stood up and realised my waters were dark green and that they contained meconium, I didn't feel panicked. I called the hospital who asked me to come straight in, called my mum round for childcare and got dressed. My husband and I arrived at the hospital at around 7.00am by which time I was having very mild tightening. It felt like my flesh was being slightly pinched in the fly of my jeans.
My only concern at this point was the baby. As soon as I was put on monitoring and heard her heartbeat, I felt myself relax. I was aware that I was having surges but they felt so manageable with TCBS breathing techniques that I was able to chat to the midwife through them. She didn’t’ check me, telling me we’d have a while yet and I’d likely be put on a hormone drip ‘to get things going.’
I easily let go the idea of the unhurried I'd imagined.
I began playing the affirmations MP3 out loud and, figuring we had lots of time, asked my husband to go home and get my headphones. I then requested to come off monitoring to go to the toilet. Once there, I felt my body begin bearing down. In shock, I pulled the emergency lever by the toilet and the room filled with medical staff. Suddenly, the surges became constant. Someone helped me to the bed and I managed to breathe and focus myself back to a place of calm as I had a vaginal exam. My husband arrived just then and both of us were stunned when the midwife said there ‘just a lip’ left and I was 9-9.5cm dilated. The bed was raised, I stood over the side of it and summoned all my energy to breathe my baby downwards. I had a moment of thinking I couldn’t do this. Then I reminded myself I was doing it.
I could hear Suzy’s voice in my head.
I was birthing with women everywhere and all through history.
6lb13oz baby Maya was born with a single push at 8.55am. I had no tears, no grazes and didn’t need any intervention.
It was all so fast that I hadn’t had a chance to discuss a birth plan with the staff but they automatically delivered her onto my chest and implemented delayed cord clamping. Me, my husband and our new baby girl were then left alone uninterrupted for an hour. Maya fed and slept skin-on-skin.
Due to the meconium in her waters, Maya needed 12 hours of observations but we were allowed home that same night.
Not only did hypnobirthing transform my birth experience it also helped immeasurably postpartum. I took Katy’s advice of a whole week in bed and have found I feel so much more empowered in controlling visitors and outside input in these first precious days. Maya is now eight days old and we are all feeling the benefit of her calm entrance into the world. She’s feeding well, sleeps decent stretches and is forming a bond with her big sister. I physically feel stronger than I have for the last nine months.
Looking back on the birth, I’m still in awe. It’s incredible to me that the sensations I felt in my first and second labours were the same.
I’ve never felt so strong and powerful. I’m so proud of myself – an incredible feeling to take into this new chapter of motherhood.
I never could have imagined I could find birth pleasurable but I really did. In fact, I feel a little sadness that our family is done here as I’d love to give it another go.
I’d tell any mother-to-be to give hypnobirthing a try. You matter, your experience matters. It took me a long time to realise that.
Jannik's Birth Story
I chose to explore hypnobirthing because, like so many people, my first experience of labour was pretty terrifying and I knew as soon as I found out I was pregnant that I wanted things to be different this time around. My son’s birth six years ago, while relatively straightforward, left me feeling frightened and bewildered. I realised, after talking with my partner Gary, that I was holding on to a lot of negativity: resentment, shame, fear and disappointment. I felt I deserved a new, positive perspective on my imminent birth so we booked on to a one-to-one intensive course with Christy when I was 35 weeks pregnant. From the comfort and privacy of our own sofa, Christy introduced us to the basics of hypnobirthing and discussed in depth my thoughts, fears and hopes, taking into account my circumstances and previous experiences. Everything changed from that point on and I continue to benefit from what I learned with Christy.
After meeting with Christy, I quickly got into the habit of listening to my affirmations and meditations every single day. The last month of my pregnancy was utterly blissful as, every night, I treated myself to a calm, candle-lit bath in which I would meditate and visualise my perfect birth. I read and re-read Suzy Ashworth’s fantastic book, The Calm Birth School and tried to put into practice everything I read. I wanted this to work so I did my ‘homework’ diligently and even made Gary complete some of the tasks with me! I found my rhetoric and perspective changed and my friends and family commented on how much more positive and calm I had become. I quickly started to look forward to the birth of my baby and was excited to see how my birthing body would carry us through. Gary was wholly supportive and encouraged me to enter into the hypnobirthing frame of mind 110% (he became quite the convert!). Hypnobirthing equipped me with the tools I needed to stay calm, informed and empowered through the last weeks of my pregnancy.
I had expected my baby to arrive a little early so when I got to my EDD I was a little bemused. My midwife had mentioned sweeps and induction but I just kept calm and told myself that my birthing body would do what it needed to do. On the evening of my EDD I cracked open the clary sage oil, listened to my mp3s and happily bounced on my ball. I went to bed feeling calm. Next morning, I stayed in bed and Gary gave me a long, relaxing massage to keep the oxytocin flowing. Suddenly I heard a ‘POP!’ and sure enough, my waters released. I was so excited but Gary reminded me to stay calm and focused so I got back into bed and listened to my mp3s. We had a slow, gentle day together watching boxsets and eating chocolate while bouncing on my ball. We did everything at our own pace and there was no sense of panic. I rang the hospital in the afternoon and was advised to go in for a check. I had only the gentlest of cramps and knew I had a long journey ahead of me but kept calm and felt overwhelmingly positive.
When we got to the hospital they quickly told me that there appeared to be meconium in my waters, that I would need to be continuously monitored and that I would have to stay in the hospital instead of go home. Hypnobirthing helped me to quickly accept these changes and focus on staying calm and maintaining the oxytocin levels we had been building all day. By 7pm the cramps had turned to very mild surges. I breathed through them with Gary’s help and the mp3s and I actually ENJOYED them! My visualisations were so powerful and clear that I forgot where I was for long periods of time and before I knew it I was walking (waddling) down to the delivery room. At 8pm I was examined (the one and only time) and told I was 3cm dilated. The doctor was concerned about the meconium and told me that if I didn’t make ‘sufficient progress’ by midnight I would be ‘put’ on the hormone drip. I was also informed that I would not be able to have the water-birth I had so looked forward to. My positivity wobbled slightly at this point but Gary was brilliant, saying that we would review the situation and make an informed decision when WE were ready. He helped me to re-focus on my breathing and I quickly resumed my position on the bed because, despite thinking I’d want to be in a more ‘natural’ position, I was actually most comfortable on the bed.
It was at this point that things started. Gary kept the room quiet and dark while my wonderful midwife Angela kept her distance and respected our desire for privacy and intimacy. The surges came thick and fast from that point on and my visualisations started to change from gentle waves lapping at my legs as I stood in the warm sea, to huge waves crashing over me and sweeping me momentarily off my feet. It was so incredibly intense - much more so than with my first son’s labour - but this time I felt much more in control and I wasn’t frightened. I suddenly started to feel the urge to push and told Angela that “something was happening in my vagina”. She laughed and told me that of course something was happening - I was in the middle of labour! But surely it was too soon to be needing to push? I focused again on my breathing (which was fast and heavy but a rhythmic 1:3) and was vaguely aware of Gary and Angela talking quietly in the corner. It had only been an hour - was something wrong? But Gary returned and told me that Baby’s head was crowning and that I needed to focus all of my energies on breathing the baby out. I couldn’t believe things had moved so quickly!! I became momentarily overexcited and frightened and euphoric and panicked - adrenaline was kicking in. At this point the surges were huge and overpowering so I asked for gas and air to help me slow down, ‘re-set’ my thoughts and face this intense final stage as calmly as possible. After only 73 minutes of labour, three glorious pushes (I REALLY loved this stage and felt so powerful, like I could achieve ANYTHING) and some pretty impressive ‘verbalisations’ my beautiful baby came gently tumbling into the world. I have never known euphoria like it. Angela understood our desire to delay weighing him and cutting the cord until I felt we were both ready and we spent the next four hours enjoying blissful skin-to-skin and staring into each other’s eyes. He was so calm and content and I felt phenomenal. I had a slight tear as things had happened so fast but I was stitched up quickly while our beautiful boy latched on and we enjoyed those incredible first moments together.
Jannik was born at 21:13 on 29th April 2018, weighing 7lbs exactly. You can see from my face how incredibly happy I felt! Hypnobirthing changed everything and I would recommend it to anyone who wants to experience a positive, empowering birth, because that’s what EVERY mother deserves.
Read more about what hypnobirthing is, what we do here and our upcoming classes & workshops here. We would love to speak to you so feel free to get in contact or come join our facebook group Calm Birth Kent; Birth, Breastfeeding & Beyond!
Jack's Birth Story
One of my favourite things about my birth experience was actually the lead up to birth. Hypnobirthing teachings meant I was empowered to request a VBAC in the midwife led unit at our local hospital, and confidently navigate the discussions with midwives and consultants to make sure that I was able to safely have the right birth for me. It also meant lots of lovely connecting with baby and myself, focussing on what makes me feel calm and happy, what will make my birth experience as positive as possible. Lovely baths with my mp3s and favourite music playing, practising massage techniques with my partner, experimenting with aromatherapy blends, all very wonderful ways to pass the time in pregnancy!
As easy as it is to feel like you could be pregnancy for ever, babies do eventually come out! So on one Saturday morning, the day before my due date, I woke up and thought my waters had started trickling.
I kept calm and told Chris, mid morning we called the hospital who said no rush to come in, but that I should at some point that day and get checked over.
We also called our doula Bryoni (I can’t recommend doulas enough, and would urge anyone to at least consider having one!).
Gradually I was having very very mild irregular surges, we called Nanna to come and look after our 2 year old Poppy, she said she’d be with us by 8pm. I was able to cook dinner and keep things nice and relaxed and normal at home.
Once Nanna arrived we went to the hospital, had a check over from the midwife who confirmed waters had gone but that nothing much else was happening. We stayed at the hospital a while then went home around 10.30, we were told if nothing had happened by the morning that they would recommend induction.
Having both my hypnobirthing birth plan and doula with us meant that we felt much more in control. A couple of times the midwife rephrased what she was saying to make it clear it was what they recommended and not what we had to do.
We made our way home, thinking we would try and get some sleep. We realised that Nanna and our 2 year old were all fast asleep and I think that knowing my daughter was ok relaxed me sufficiently for the next stage of labour to kick in! I went to the loo and then had to get Chris to help me back out again! We decided very quickly that we needed to go back to the hospital!
It was a memorable night, it had been a very hot day and then driving back to the hospital was a huge electrical storm, with constant lightning illuminating the sky!
Once we got to the hospital things seemed to progress really quickly. I had gone from 0-7 centimetres in the short time between going home and coming back to the hospital. Kind of funnily we had really prepared well to make our hospital space our own - we’d got playlists of music, hypnobirthing mp3s, lights, photos, practically a buffet of snack options, photos, affirmations, all sorts of things to get the oxytocin flowing. We’d even chosen our wonderful doula Bryoni partly because she has a background in dance and was going to dance us through the surges! But did we make use of any of these wonderful things? No we didn’t! Things felt so intense so quickly it was all I could do to breath through each surge, take a moment to rest and then ride the next one. I tried gas and air but felt it was actually just making me feel out of control so we really did just use breathing, the words of support and encouragement from Chris and Bryoni, and some “vocalisations” (I felt compelled to make quite a noise through each surge, it came from deep within me!) to take me through what felt like an incredibly intense experience. I was able to use the pool through most of labour and the warm water really did help make me feel more comfortable. Our midwife suggested at around 3.30am that I get out and make sure I didn’t need a wee, I really struggled to get to the toilet and Chris was a great mental and physical support! It was then suggested that perhaps baby was ready to come, I couldn’t really walk so they got me onto the bed and I pushed and breathed through the last hour. Then suddenly our baby boy was born! He was given to me straight away, Chris was able to cut the cord, and the little champ managed to latch on straight away for his first feed.
Things were not quite over and done with though, I’d had a tear and the placenta wasn’t budging. Our midwife was concerned about blood loss, so we were whisked upstairs. I was taken to theatre to have the placenta manually removed, and have some stitches, but again the hypnobirthing techniques I had learnt meant I still felt in control and was able to keep calm. After the procedure I was reunited with my baby, and Chris and Bryoni. It was lovely to know that Chris had someone with him while I was in theatre - someone to grab a drink for him, make sure he was ok, hold the baby if needed.
The procedure all went well and we were able to stay in a side room which we then decorated with our lights, as we’d intended to with our birth room!
Baby Jack, and me, are now both doing really well, and settling into our new family life. Hypnobirthing is a really amazing set of skills, that I hope I continue to use in other areas of my life!
Kent Hypnobirthing run classes in Folkestone, Faversham, Maidstone & Margate. Head here to see all upcoming course types and dates!
Elsie's Birth Story
My "due date" came and went & it was Thursday 29th March. I was 41+2. The 'I' word was mentioned & it was booked for Sunday 1st April (which I would have politely declined all being well) I declined a cervical sweep while I was with the midwife then regretted it a little so made the decision to have one the next day instead! I tried to stay positive but really I was a little on edge about the prospect of having to go to the WHH to be monitored every day that I was 'overdue' purely for the inconvenience! After the sweep I promptly went out food shopping to help things along & stock up on a few essentials *cough COOKIES cough* then spent the evening feeling a bit crampy & sore from the sweep so i went to bed (after deciding to clean the bathroom sink at gone 11pm, it might have even been gone 12am )
I woke up the next morning at about 4:55 needing a wee & immediately felt the disappointment of not going into labour over night & that I was going to be pregnant for at least another day. So I went to the toilet & had a 'clear out'. It caught me off guard a bit but thought nothing of it as it had been the norm for weeks. As soon as I got back into bed I felt a tightening & another shortly after so decided to time them 7-8 minutes apart so I woke Jon up & we finished setting up the pool together, Jon called the singleton unit so they could send round the on call midwife & i messaged my mum shortly after as she was coming over to take care of the girls. By this point the surges were getting stronger and every 3-4 minutes apart.
As I practiced hypnobirthing I visualised a heavy iron gate of a castle (think GOT) being drawn upwards with each surge & the colours of the rainbow chakras surrounding me. Jon had run a bath as we remembered it helped with controlling the sensations with my first labour but I didn't actually get in! The girls woke up & Isla started to help daddy fill the pool up, they were so excited and were VERY attentive, Isla was stroking me and reminding me to breath and Sienna was taking to me about baby Elsie being born in the pool!
The midwife arrived & set up around me as i clung on to the end of my bed (which is practically in the doorway) and the girls weaving in and out of people & going through her stuff. At this point I was really wishing my mum was here to keep them occupied but she still hadn't arrived! A second midwife turned up and I felt the need to vocalise my breathing through the surges, like a long oooooooo noise that I could feel in my throat & felt a shift, like gravity was pulling my baby down! This was my queue to get in to the pool so I got in & felt the relief of the water on my lower back and around my bump, Jon and the girls joined me around the pool side as I continued to surge and "oooo" I squeezed Jon's hand for extra relief and the girls got front row seats on my bed. After a few extra strong surges... POP went my waters along with the involuntary urge to push, the downwards pressure was intense and continual & I was surprised that it didn't come with a surge so with gentle breathing and a little bit of pushing I continued to bring my baby into the world in a way that felt right for her & my body! I felt her head emerge with my hands & calmly (although it was quick) the rest of her followed, I brought her up and out of the water and onto my chest as I sat back and with the rush of endorphins I just laughed & breathed with relief. It was calm, amazing & perfect and she was calm & amazing & perfect
Ps, mum made it, 5 minutes too late!
From Holly in Folkestone
Holly attended our group hypnobirthing course in Folkestone with Katy . She had her baby last week and has shared her beautiful birth story
Head on over here to read more about us or book your own place on our courses , in Folkestone , Faversham, Maidstone and Margate
Jemima's Birth Story
I came to hypnobirthing with a honestly sceptical opinion. I didn't really understand what it was about, and assumed I wasn't the kind of person who could benefit. It proved me wrong. After the horrific birth of my first child 4 years ago, resulting in numerous medical interventions and consequent problems and PND, we had finally decided to add to our family. The birth filled me with such fear that I decided to ignore it until the last months. Realising I needed to address my issues with birth , I attended the course in Folkestone with Katy when invited.
Katy was wonderful in catering the experience around my own journey and likely outcomes. I developed Obstretic Choelstasis at 33 weeks, meaning the necessity of regular monitoring and an early induction. The course proved very cathartic for myself and my husband, laying some previous demons to rest and providing confidence in my instincts and my body. It was very much a work in progress, but provided me with an avenue of calm when my brain was too panicked to focus leading up to the event.
My induction day came and we excitedly headed to the hospital in the company of our doula. The first day proved incredibly difficult, with continuous backache and waves of intense nausea - my little one had decided to turn back to back that morning. With lots of support from my birth partners, I kept active around the necessary monitoring and tried to remain positive. The strongest tool I gained from the course was the ability to breathe, and allowing my body to do what is necessary without panicking or fighting against it. I would be lying if I said I didn't have a fair few wobbles where I doubted all my abilities and wanted to stop. Both my partners had attended the course and knew just how to allow me to vent and then return me to a calm state, reminding me of my visualisations and breathing counts.
After an incredibly long day I was settled in bed at 4am where I was not declared in active labour and advised to rest. At this point I was considering requesting a Caesarean, but felt informed and powerful enough to explore my options and voice my opinions. At 5am, I literally leapt out of bed with incredibly strong surges. I had initially requested to not know the cms dilated upon examination, but consented at this point. I was 9cm! I was in a state of disbelief, but tried to allow my body to do its thing. Using the gas and air as a means of breath control, I concentrated on my midwives requests and the sensations in my own body. It took another hour and a half to get to 10cm - all this time we were waiting for my doula to arrive as we had sent her home for the night. My husband was incredible keeping me calm and reminding me to breathe. At the pushing stage I felt like I entered another realm of consciousness-i vividly remember every sensation of my little one descending down and making her appearance. I felt confident to make the noises I needed to to assist me in birthing my baby without embarrassment or fear. I had another wobble after delivering her head, disbelieving that she was actually coming. The midwife and my partners convinced me to touch her head, a decision I will always be grateful for taking. It gave me the confidence to push her out with the next surge.
The feeling of exhilaration was incredible, something that had been missing from my first birth. She arrived at 7.46am, weighing 8lb 7 1/2. At 39 weeks plus one. Little Jemima Sophia. My husband got to tell me the gender and I was so thrilled to find we had a little girl to join our boy. Over the coming days there were incredible waves of pride and remembrance of her birth, in a truly positive manner. I have never felt more powerful or had such confidence in my own abilities.
I credit hypnobirthing with giving me a realistic toolkit in order to face the inevitable challenges of my birth journey. There was never going to be a miracle cure for my previous experiences, but I now see birth as nothing to be afraid of and to be enjoyed. I am also eternally grateful that my husband was able to participate in a positive birth, and hopefully heal the wounds from the last. I will take lessons into my life going forward to not doubt my own instincts and feelings, and have pride in my mind and body.
What a gorgeous birth story and what a powerful mother overcoming previous trauma to birth feeling empowered and strong! If you would like to come along to a hypnobirthing course with us, come see our upcoming dates here, or send us an email hello@kenthypnobirthing.com
Joss's Birth Story
An Induction Story.
Joss’ birth was not what I wanted or planned. It wasn’t a ‘classic hypnobirth’ with a lovely dimmed room, fairy lights, soft music and birthing pools, the whole thing was a curve ball, completely unexpected with a new surprise at every turn. Yet it is the birth I learned the most from, about myself and about giving birth.
This was my third baby and I honestly thought I had it pegged. Birth one, no birth preparation, no idea what to expect, took 18 hours and ended in an epidural and forceps. Birth two (following a fabulous private course with Kent Hypnobirthing) was 8 hours, from first contraction to holding baby in my arms and required no intervention and no pain relief. It was awesome and liberating and life affirming. Yep, super proud. Baby number three, I had my birth pool up in my living room from 37 weeks, Doula on standby, fairy lights and affirmations up, this time I was going to do it the way I wanted, no question, and probably in 4 hours. This is how is went…
At 41 +5 weeks, I had refused all interventions including sweeps as I was adamant that labour would start spontaneously when baby was ready, and both previous labours had started at 39 weeks and 41 weeks. I went for a welfare scan at 41+5, expecting them to try and induce me and I again intended to refuse and come home. When I had the scan, I got the shocking news that baby was suddenly breech – feet down. This scuppered my plan! Although knowing I have the right to opt to birth vaginally with a breech baby, the staff at my local hospital are lacking in experience (not training) and did not feel confident supporting with this option and I was in agreement, it wasn’t the choice for me! This left me with two options, a caesarean section or an ECV. I took some time to really weigh up the options and after discussion with my Doctor, my Husband and my Doula, I decided to try the ECV and hope it was successful.
Day one in hospital, consisted of a scan, discussion about the ECV with the Doctor and having the procedure done. They first give a small injection to relax the muscles of the uterus and then manually turn the baby by manipulating the abdomen. The leaflet stated the procedure isn’t painful and in my experience, that is accurate. The leaflet also said it would be uncomfortable, in my experience, that was playing it down. It is an extremely uncomfortable procedure however the breathing techniques were fabulous in keeping my body relaxed and pliable. The procedure was successful, and I went home, prepared to return in the morning ready for induction. I agreed to the induction providing baby hadn’t returned to the breech position overnight.
The following morning I was admitted to the hospital and got settled into the antenatal ward. I was scanned, the baby was still head down. I was examined, my cervix was completely closed and as such, they were unable to break my waters to encourage labour to start. That evening I had the prostaglandin pessary inserted internally, the purpose not to start labour but to ‘ripen’ or open the cervix enough to enable my waters to be broken. I found the pessary to induce mild contractions which I experienced that night and the following day (24 hours). I say mild, they were fairly strong at times but I managed to get some sleep using my hypnobirthing relaxation mp3s. The more relaxed I felt, the more the sensations eased.
After 24 hours with the pessary I was examined again and was 3cm dilated. Fabulous! Then I was met with the news that the labour ward had shut as it was so busy and there were no beds, so I needed to wait until there was space before my induction could continue! I waited until the following morning and was moved to the delivery suite, a room with a fabulous view over the city and a wonderful supportive midwife waiting for me. She examined me and found I was still 3cms dilated and she broke my waters. The Doctors told me they’d be back in 2 hours to start me on the syntocinon drip if my contractions were not yet 3 in every 10 minutes. I felt very pitted against the clock. I did not want the drip, I knew it meant I wouldn’t be able to labour in the pool (just across from my room), that they would want to monitor me constantly (restricting my movement), not to mention being hooked up to the drip. I also knew syntocinon is notorious for stimulating the uterus muscles so that it’s stronger, more intense and possibly more overwhelming that spontaneous labour. Yep, I really wasn’t up for it. With the help of my Doula and my Husband we tried all the ways we knew of to get labour started, and it did, but SLOWLY. Very slowly. My fabulous midwife held off the Doctors and between us we lasted 6 more hours, before I conceded I wasn’t yet in established labour and I would accept the drip in the hope we could finally get this show on the road.
The drip went in, the monitor belt was firmly round the baby bump and I was parked on my birth ball. It was 5pm on 5th November and as labour began, I watched an awesome firework show over the city.
Two hours later, it was a different story. We’d only been going two hours and the surges were getting so intense, I wasn’t sure how I was going to make it to the end. I looked at the clock, it was 7:30pm, I knew labour, I expected to go until midnight at the earliest. My midwife commented that I was doing really well and I told her I couldn’t go on anymore. My words were along the lines of, “I can’t do this, I can’t go on any longer, I need an epidural, I know this sounds like transition and I promise you, it really isn’t, I need you to take me seriously, I am done and want an epidural”. She gave me a leaflet to read and went out muttering about looking for the anethetist. The surges were coming so thick and fast now there was no rest in between them, they faded slightly and came back stronger. The midwife returned saying the anethetist was busy with another lady but would come to me afterwards. I looked at the clock, 7:50pm.
Soon after that I began rocking on my ball and pushing away from the bed in front of me, my Doula said I looked like I was pushing and a moment later I felt I needed the toilet and stood up, resting forwards on the bed. Everything stopped. The intensity, the world. Silently I knew my baby was coming and I let everyone else figure it out for themselves. Those few minutes, standing and easing my descending baby down was delicious. The most amazing, satisfying feeling mixed with a whole lot of relief, to know I wasn’t going to have to hang out until midnight or beyond, and that calling for the epidural was exactly transition!
She was born at 8pm on bonfire night. Did it look like a hypnobirth? Not really, it looked loud and wild. Was it a hypnobirth then? Absolutely. I used my hypnosis mp3s, relaxation techniques (and quite a bit of sacral counter pressure) to labour through my most challenging birth. It was fast (3 hours from 3cms to birth) and it was seriously hard work but my baby daughter was worth every second and I’d do it again in an instant, for her.
Mabel's Birth Story
A wonderful birth story for you from a powerful mother. The lovely Gemma and Liam came to my Faversham group class when pregnant with their second baby. This is such a wonderful read and a real testament to Gemma's strength and determination to birth her daughter feeling empowered, confident and supported so beautifully by Liam. Their plans changed not once but multiple times but I will let Gemma tell you all about that! I challenge you to remain dry eyed when you read this (I didn't!) Love Sophie x
Mabel's Birth Story:
When I was pregnant with my oldest daughter I was never particularly afraid of giving birth, I assumed it wouldn’t be pleasant but it would only be a day out of my life and I would get through it. My husband and I didn’t really prepare for the birth with regards to making it a more personal experience, we mostly found out about the process and pain relief methods. When it came to it, it wasn’t exactly straightforward. She was back to back and I couldn’t keep down any food or water due to continuously vomiting. That, combined with a few other issues, and I think both myself and my husband panicked a bit as we felt totally out of our depth.
When I became pregnant with our second daughter I was actually quite fearful of giving birth again and looked into hypnobirthing as a way to help. I felt a bit of a fraud when enquiring about the Kent Hypnobirthing course, like it should only be for first time mums and as it was our second time around I should have this whole birthing malarkey down! I communicated this in my enquiry and the lovely Ray replied and told me that in fact both her and Sophie had only come to hypnobirthing on their second births which really reassured me.
We took the course in Faversham with Sophie and both found it really helpful. It even made me view my first birth in a more positive light. Yes, our first birth wasn’t ideal but we got through it and had our beautiful daughter! We spent the next couple of months preparing for birth in a way we didn’t with our first. I listened to the MP3s and definitely took on Sophie’s advice about relaxing every day! We spent a really good evening choosing our birth playlist and discussing the pros and cons of each track, we took it very seriously! They had to be (on the whole) positive, not too fast and mostly mean something to the both us. We loved the playlist so much that we both listened to it in the lead up to the birth for our own enjoyment and I think it will continue to be one of our favourite playlists going forward which will be lovely as it has a whole new set of memories attached to it now.
We decided this time we would like to have a home birth and hire a pool as I wasn’t able to have a water birth the first time around and due to lack of rooms available, I had to labour on a full ward for a few hours which wasn’t the best. We planned the lighting, aromatherapy oils, music and we were really feeling positive about the whole thing until I had my 36 week scan which showed that the baby was estimated to be over the 95th percentile for weight. This meant that there was an increased risk of shoulder dystocia and at our home birth risk assessment we were advised not to have a home birth. Although I knew that I couldn’t be refused a home birth, we felt more comfortable listening to the medical advice in our case. We pushed to be able to go into the midwife led unit which is located in the ward next to the delivery suite in our hospital but the 95th percentile was over their guidelines and although they do judge each case on its own merit, they had recently had a bad case of shoulder dystocia and so weren’t willing to make an exception.
Our plans changing from the lovingly planned home birth to going back to the delivery suite really set me back, much more than I thought it would. At 36 weeks pregnant and after weeks of feeling really positive and confident, I found myself feeling fearful of giving birth again. I contacted Sophie who was so helpful with practical advice about different people to contact and sending me positive birth stories. She reminded me to listen to the tracks and use my affirmations and generally start to focus again. My husband was brilliant at being positive about the change of plans and worked hard to reassure me that it didn’t have to be like last time and we could make a delivery suite birth into the kind of birth we had hoped for. Slowly I started to come round to the idea and ended up feeling back in control and positive about our change of plans.
I was scheduled for another scan at 39+6 and this time it showed the baby was on the 93rd percentile so I could now go to the midwife led unit or have a home birth. However, due to the fact the baby was still measuring large we decided to go to the midwife led unit as we were very close by in case there were any complications.
The night before I went into labour I had no indications of what was to come, I was actually joking with my husband about how lazy our little girl was being as she just didn’t seem to want to make a move to join us just yet! My husband wanted to try out some acupressure techniques that he found on YouTube that were meant to trigger labour (he is still convinced that’s what happened in our case!). So at 10pm while massaging my very swollen feet, he did a few of these acupressure techniques and we went to sleep. I woke up at 2am with some tightenings but I wasn’t sure whether it was just strong Braxton Hicks again as I had had this a few times in recent weeks. I went downstairs to sit on my birth ball and start listening to our playlist (I think I really I knew this was it which is why I started listening to the playlist). About half hour later I realised that my waters were starting to trickle when I stood up so I went to put on a pad. After a few more trickles I realised that my waters were very slightly yellowy so I called the midwife led unit and after listening to me experience a surge and hearing that my waters were a bit yellow, they advised me to go and see the assessment unit at the delivery suite in case I had meconium in my waters but that if I didn’t, they would be happy to have me.
I called my mum to come and look after our daughter and she was over in 15 minutes while my husband and I gathered our things. At this point I was having a tightening about every 8 minutes but I was fully expecting them to slow down with the transfer to hospital and to be sent back home to labour for longer. When we got in the car we put our playlist on and began the drive. It was definitely uncomfortable being forced to sit down during my surges. I wanted to lean forward but couldn’t find a safe way of doing this in the car. We arrived at the hospital just after 4am and I had to stop a few times on the walk to the delivery suite and lean on the wall to breathe through my contractions. They seemed to be coming more regularly than they were at home which briefly made me think about my previous labour (irregular but frequent contractions as she was back to back). However I made myself focus on the present and remember that this time didn’t have to be the same. We got to the delivery suite and we were taken into a room to be assessed. The midwife took away my pad to test my waters for meconium and unfortunately it did have it in which meant I wasn’t able to go to the midwife led unit or use the pool. Despite how much the thought of this scenario bothered me in the last few weeks I found that it didn’t actually phase me when it came down to it, with the help of my husband I remained focused on breathing through my surges and just staying present. The midwife wanted to just observe me for a while to see how I was doing but also wanted to monitor the baby to make sure she wasn’t in distress due to the meconium. I said that I wanted to stay active and she said that would be OK after she’d been able to monitor her for a little while. Laying on the bed was not great, my body wanted to move around and I found I was in a lot of pain laying back. Around this time my blood pressure was taken and found to be really high, I also started vomiting so I agreed to have an anti sickness shot as I didn’t want to become dehydrated like I was in my first birth. When the anti sickness kicked in I was given some medication to bring down my blood pressure too as they were quite concerned with how high it was.
After a little while, during one contraction, laying on the bed all became too much and I just had to get up during it, I physically couldn’t lay back on the bed any longer as it was going against everything my body was telling me to do. The midwife then put the clip on the baby’s head to monitor her and that allowed me to move around more freely which was much better. My surges were now coming about 4 times every 10 minutes and I was on gas and air. I was surprised at how quickly I seemed to be progressing, especially as my previous birth had lasted 3 days! It wasn’t long after I reached the ‘transition’ point where I thought I couldn’t do it and started asking for an epidural. My husband and the midwife kept reassuring me how well I was doing and that I was doing it and soon I found myself really going into my own little zone. I was on the bed on my knees, leaning over the head of the bed and rocking my hips. It was not a conscious decision, my body was just taking over and it felt good to listen to what it wanted to do. I focussed on listening to the music and began to zone out everything else in the room. Then in what seemed like no time (but in reality it must have been a while!) I remember “coming round” a bit and starting to hear the midwife talking to me about pushing. I really tried to focus on what she was saying and follow her coaching. It felt really challenging but also like I was in control, totally different to my previous birth. Then at 9.13am, our little Mabel was born weighing 9lb 6oz. The relief after was amazing, it’s like I came from being somewhere far away to being back in the room again. After she had been checked I lay down on the bed and we had our first cuddle and feed, it was amazing how quickly and easily she latched on.
I am so glad that we chose to do the hypnobirthing course with Sophie, I don’t know what would’ve happened if we hadn’t but without the support I think Mabel’s birth would’ve been very different. It allowed both myself and my husband to have confidence in ourselves and our choices. It really did bring me a sort of closure with regards to my first birth too and as we are not planning on having any more children I feel like I went out on a high!
Thomas's Birth Story
Kathryn and Kyran came along to my Faversham group classes a few months ago and it was so lovely to have them both there! I was so happy to receive this birth story and to hear of the wonderful birth of baby Thomas! I am so so happy for them, Kathryn you are amazing! I am so pleased to be able to share their story! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Over to you Kathryn x (sophie)
I woke up on the morning of Tuesday 6th June after a very refreshing 10-hour sleep. I'd felt exhausted the day before, which I now think was probably my body's way of telling me that I needed a good rest. My husband, Kyran, had gone off to work while I made the most of a nice lie-in. Eventually I dragged myself out of bed and started to get ready for another day of maternity leave. I was 38 weeks + 3 days pregnant and had finished work two weeks earlier. I was already starting to get a bit impatient, but had resigned myself to the fact that I'd probably have to wait another couple of weeks for my baby to make an appearance.
When I went into the bathroom to clean my teeth, I felt a strange sensation and started to wonder if my waters were releasing. I tried not to get too excited though, as I remembered being warned about false alarms, especially at this stage of pregnancy. I walked around the house for a bit and then checked again. There was definitely something happening! Looking back, I'm amazed at how calm I was. I've always been a worrier and would normally stress about the smallest things. After doing my daily relaxation though, I felt like I was in my own serene little bubble. I was excited at the prospect of meeting my baby in the next few days and strangely intrigued to find out what the surges would feel like when they started.
I phoned the Midwife Led Unit (MLU) at the hospital to see what they recommended and they booked me in for a check to confirm what was happening. After just half an hour at work, Kyran came home and took me to the hospital. We had to wait for quite a long time, but we chatted away in the waiting room and laughed that I'd got him out of work for the day, if nothing else. They confirmed that my waters had released and monitored the baby's heartbeat for a little while, just to check that everything was okay. While the nurse was out of the room, we used our BRAIN technique and had a chat about what we would do if they recommended an induction. Although I've never been keen on the idea, we decided that we would follow their advice as, for us, the slight increased risk of complications outweighed our wishes to keep it as natural as possible. As my contractions hadn't started, they did book us in for an induction for the following morning and sent us home. Again, I felt weirdly relaxed about the whole thing.
When we got home, we went for a nice walk around the park and watched some feel-good TV. I started to feel something similar to mild period pain, but nothing like what I imagined contractions would feel like. Later that evening, around 10pm, I headed to bed to try and get some sleep. It wasn't long before the sensations started to feel more intense and I was alternating between bouncing on my birth ball, leaning over a chair and resting on my side in bed. Even when it got really intense, I kept saying that I didn't think they were contractions, as I couldn't feel the tightening sensation that I'd imagined. I'd convinced myself that even if they were surges, then I wouldn't be far enough along to go into the MLU. Kyran was with me the whole time, rubbing my back and doing anything he could to support me. He decided that it was time to phone the hospital around 3am and they asked to speak to me. They said to try to rest for a bit longer and then call them back in an hour. When we did phone back, she asked if I felt ready to come in and when I said I was, she suggested bringing our hospital bag with us just in case I needed to stay. It was also only a few hours until the planned induction, so they felt that it was worth us making the journey.
I don't remember much about the car journey, except that I continued to focus on my breathing. I think this breathing, along with Kyran's encouragement, is what got me through. When we arrived, we were shown to a room in the MLU, but had to wait about an hour for them to come back and speak to us properly, as it was a busy morning for them. The midwife who came to check on my progress was lovely and helped to keep me at ease while she chatted away to us. She seemed quite surprised when she told me that I was actually 7-8cm dilated! I was just relieved that I wouldn't have to go home again and could get straight into the birthing pool. When I immersed myself - not very gracefully - into the pool, the warm water was a like a dream. I was able to stay in there for a couple of hours, listening to music and holding Kyran's hands. Although the pool was soothing, I asked for some gas and air and felt more comfortable puffing away on it.
As the baby still wasn't quite able to make an appearance, the midwives took away the gas and air and I got out of the pool to try a couple of different positions, including a birthing stool. I kept thinking that it was doing the trick, but the head kept going back in. Eventually they advised us that we should be moved to the labour ward for a bit of help. It wasn't quite how I'd hoped it would go, but I was happy for them to do whatever it took to get the baby out safely. I continued to use my breathing techniques and it all got quite primal with some of the noises I was making! The doctor eventually gave us a helping hand with an episiotomy and a ventouse, and we all worked together to bring my baby into the world.
At 11:52am, they placed my baby on my chest and I met my beautiful little boy for the first time. We hadn’t found out the sex until that moment, which made it feel even more special. I was overcome with so many different emotions, but on top of the overwhelming love that I felt for my son, I also felt a sense of pride for what I'd just achieved.
Giving birth definitely wasn't easy, but it was an incredibly empowering experience and I wouldn't change anything about my journey into motherhood. I really feel that the Hypnobirthing techniques, especially the relaxation, helped me to take charge of both the pregnancy and the birth. We also have to say a big thank you to Sophie for all of your support and enthusiasm in the sessions. It really helped to get us through. I'm still listening to calming MP3s now and hoping that they will help me to face all of the challenges that I’m sure motherhood will bring!
Yasmin's Birth Story
I first met Orsi and Rob at my Introduction to Hypnobirthing Workshop and I was immediately struck by how warm and loving they were, both to me and each other. I was very pleased when they booked onto my full course as I would get to spend more time with this lovely pair!
They were so supportive of each other throughout the course which was a pleasure to witness. I could see that Orsi would have strong support when she was birthing and so this is an emotional read for me. This is a beautiful testament to both Orsi and Rob at their strength and support and love they have for each other. It is just wonderful to read.
Yes their birth went very far from the birth they planned and hoped for but it was still such an empowering and positive experience. I am so happy for them both and thank you for sharing your story Orsi and Rob. These stories are so important to share and inspire other women. That birth can be powerful, positive, empowering and wonderful whatever path birth may take.
Welcome to the world baby Yasmin! And now over to you Orsi! (Sophie):
We had our baby daughter 2 weeks ago and I thought I`d share our birth story with you!
So here is baby Yasmin, who was born on 24th August, at 4:11am.
The story starts on the 22nd though.
I was 11 days overdue and had another midwife appointment at the GP where I have been offered a sweep and did accept it, considering I have nothing to lose as I was 3 days away from my 42 week deadline of giving birth still in the birth centre.
After that appointment my mucus plug started flushing away and overnight I had mild period pains. I used the breathing techniqes I learned from you at the hypnobirthing class and it did work, I had a good night.
At 4:30am on Wednesday morning (23rd) I had stomach cramps (at least I thought they were) which started becoming stronger and stronger throughout the morning.
We called the birth centre late morning for advice as in when to come in etc. They assesed me over the phone and left the decision for me. At that point I felt more comfy to stay at home. My partner, Rob ran me a bath and that helped a lot, with candles and watched our favourite movie together, Mamma Mia to try to distract me a bit at least.
At 1pm I decided to go over to the birth centre as I was struggling quite a bit by that time.
They examined me and said I was not in labour yet! As I did not want to know numbers about my progress I had no idea how close or far we were but we went home still as there was nothing they could do ( I could not get gas at that stage). After birth I found out from Rob (he knew the details) that I was only 3cm dilated!
Between 2 and 6pm we were at home, by that stage I was in a lot of pain and at 6pm we went back to the birth centre, still did not get gas as I was not in full labour! (again, found out after birth I was still 3cm dilated!)
So, we stayed there for the next few hours, used the pool and the tens pads (the latter one did do nothing to me). Meanwhile, I was examined only a couple of times as I requested.
At 10pm the midwife examined me and was not happy with my excessive blood loss so I hada transfer to Pembury at 22:30 just to be on the safe side. (even after birth they could not tell where the blood was coming from...)
At this point I was at breaking point from the pain and disappointment as we were heading towards birth plan B. Here, Rob asked me to think in the ambulance about the island where I would love to marry him! :) For us it was always a bare feet in the sand option, but not a priority to get married so we kept putting it off...
He wanted to generate more oxytocin for me.. Bless him. :)
At 22:50 we got to the hospital and had gas from that point onwards and that was a gigantic relief. That gas pump became my best friend there and then :)
Started monitoring me and the baby and an baby`s heartbeat became very inconsistent, also had an epidural about an hour later as I was struggling. In an hour I dilated from 3 to 6cm!!! So I could have had her naturally but because of the heartbeat fluctuation the doctors decided they would apply C section rather than risking it any longer.
So at 4:11am on the 24th August we heard her crying voice and we just could not stop crying. The assistants in the theatre brought us tissues as we must have been flooding their sheets on that bed lol
Rob was amazing throughout those 2days, the birth centre and hospital staff just could not have done more for us. Absolute gems!
Thank you for all the mindset and techniques you have given us. I keep praising your course and the positive experience, as even though it did not go by the ideal plan, it is still a miracle and we could not be happier. I would not give this life for the world.
Best Wishes,
Orsi, Robert and Baby Yasmin Susanna
xxx
June's Birth Story
I'm am so, so pleased to be sharing this amazing story. When Charlotte and I first spoke on the phone she was very fearful of what her birth would bring, in fact all through the course she was very sure that she would give birth in the hospital. I was so excited when she told me about June's birth and that she had chosen the Midwife led unit in the end. Not because it matters where a person gives birth, that is totally (TOTALLY) their choice but because it shows how far she had come. She was choosing where to give birth from a place of confidence not fear. She was choosing to believe in her body and that is a very powerful decision! Now grab a cup of tea and have a read. (Ray)
It was about time that I shared my birth story with you. And may I start by saying that like many, the idea of giving birth seemed like the most impossible and scary thing I could ever imagine. As soon as I was pregnant I panicked about how this baby was coming out of me, and this is where I discovered Kent Hypnobirthing and it was quite honestly life changing.
I was 41 + 1 days pregnant. My midwife had been fantastic, and I wasn't due to see her again until I was 41+ 3, which would be ten days after I last saw her. There was no pressure for a sweep or induction, however by this point I was well and truly fed up. Everything hurt, and the anticipation of becoming a mother and finally meeting this baby girl was all too much. If the baby wasn't here by that Saturday, I had discussed it with my boyfriend and I was going to have a sweep, I didn't want to be pregnant for another minute. Luckily for me it didn't come to that....
I woke up on the morning of Thursday 27th of April at about 2 AM for my tenth toilet trip of the night, luckily that night I switched the bathroom light on, and had, what I now know to be, a 'show'. After 20 minutes of googling it I decided to go back to sleep and proceeded to wake up every two hours with the typical cramp like period pains that lots of people tell you about. I decided not to wake my partner and tell him, as I thought 'maybe this is it' and if so I would need him to get as much rest as possible to help me through it all. I woke up in the morning and the cramp like period sensations were still continuing, I thought if this was the day it was happening that I had time to send Jack to the tip to clear the rest of the things on the balcony that I've been staring at me for the past three months. I also made an epic brunch of poached eggs on muffins with chorizo, avocado all topped off with hollandaise sauce, very pleased about that! I also did some cleaning, as again, if this was the big day I couldn't be bringing my baby home to a dirty house (it was anything but, after giving birth and having a baby I truly understand what a messy / unclean house means).
After this we decided to go for a walk, as we had done every day for the past three weeks. I'd been really fed up and quite emotional, each day was a mental struggle, not to mention the Snooker World Championships were on....much to my boyfriend's delight. During our seaside walk, I then decided I wanted a McDonald's cheeseburger (I finally gave in to the cravings), followed by some ice cream at our favourite gelato shop, all in all the day was going well. Every so often I had to stop because the cramps intensified but wasn't really sure if I was in labour or not at this point, and I really didn't want to get my hopes up.
We got home and the cramps were still happening and becoming a little more frequent, whilst messaging a friend she reminded me about the tens machine I had, so I decided to put that on and bounced up and in my birth ball whilst watching episodes of Friends remembering about all the oxytocin and I need to release. I was doing my breathing and my boyfriend was secretly timing, what I now know to be contractions. Because he'd been on the Hypnobirthing course with me he really did play an essential role in the whole labour and birth process which I am eternally grateful for.
I carried on like this for a few hours made a few phone calls and watched a few more episodes of Friends and then all of a sudden I decided that I needed to call the hospital, the sensations were intensifying and I needed some reassurance. This is the point for me which was the lowest, as the lady on the other end of the phone essentially laughed at me and said I couldn't be in labour because I can still talk. Being typically British I tried my hardest to keep myself together whilst on the phone and actually was a lot worse when I was off the phone, however her telling me that really made me lose confidence in myself and in my body. I burst into tears and Jack had to really calm me down.
However she did say that she would put me through to someone at the MLU who I could speak too. The midwife on the phone said I could go into the MLU if I wanted to, it was really up to me. Jack knew to keep me a home for as long as possible, so he really tried to persuade me to stay at home for longer. Eventually I insisted I wanted to go in and he went downstairs to pack the car. When I went in the car there was classical music playing and everything was calm and luckily it was dark outside.
It was about 7:45pm, and on the way to the hospital, which is only two minutes drive, we nearly collided with another vehicle. He came out at us at the roundabout out of nowhere, we couldn't believe it as the breaks slammed on. Jack was brilliant managed to remain calm throughout. As soon as I went into the MLU and I met the midwife on duty who was called Emily, I burst into tears. I told her I couldn't do this, she was just what I needed, and she spoke to me in a really soft calming voice and asked me if I'd like to be examined? I thought about it for a moment and decided it was best to know where I was at, so she examined me and I found out I was 3 cm dilated. Emily told me that the MLU was empty that evening and I was more than welcome to stay, get into the pool, eat some food and just see how things progressed. This is exactly what I did, she brought me a whole tray of snacks: cheese, biscuits, crisps and ice cold apple juice. The birthing pool was filled up, and it was so much bigger and warmer than I imagined. The lights were down really low, and I continued contracting, breathing in and breathing out with Jack there to talk me through it. Music wise we hadn't put a playlist together which maybe was a bit of a mistake, but I was more than happy with the old school hits on the radio ranging from 70s disco to a bit of Take That.
At this point I had been having contractions for quite a while, and they asked me again if I'd like to stay or go home. There was no way I was going home, so they admitted me as a patient which I was over the moon about. After some hours, another midwife came and asked it I was I aware of my pain relief options, and soon as she said this I wanted the gas and air. In hindsight I would definitely avoid people saying the word pain relief or using that language whilst in labour for as long as possible, as soon as she said this I thought I needed it where as before she said this, I hadn't really thought about it too much.
I continued with the gas and air and my contractions were now going through my whole body. Before they had been quite manageable on all fours, where as now they had me standing up and walking around in the pool. Emily asked me if I would like to be examined again, I decided yes, I would and I got out the pool and onto the bed. She examined me, and as soon as she'd finished the examination I went to the toilet, as i'd be drinking so many fluids.....ice cold apple juice was my new favourite thing at this point. This is again where hypnobirthing helped my boyfriend, as I now know that I was still 3 cm still at this point but Jack said that I could not hear this news. He ensured that Emily only told me positive news, I went back into the pool and Emily told me that everything is progressing nicely she didn't mention anything about measurements and I didn't ask.
I felt really comfortable in the MLU, the atmosphere, the lighting, and Emily all made me feel really comfortable, however by this point it was probably three or four in the morning and the contractions were getting more intense and happening more frequently. They monitored the babies heartbeat throughout, and her position, which I was more than happy with, they then asked me if I would like to to be examined again, and I declined. However the surges were becoming really intense and I decided that I would really like the next level of pain relief. I requested pethidine, which took quite some time for it to arrive, as they needed to find a doctor. When it arrived I had to get out the pool, and I would have to stay out the pool for at least three hours. The idea of the pethidine was for both Jack and me to get some rest, the room we were in was huge, and they'd made a bed for us both to relax in. I decided against getting examined before the injection, and then the rollercoaster really began. Over the next two hours I could not sit still, I couldn't do anything but pace. I wanted to go to the toilet but I couldn't sit down to go, I couldn't even relieve myself stood up. I also couldn't sit down on the bed, all I wanted to do was walk walk walk around that room. Although Jack was trying to be really positive, I knew he really wanted me to get rest and kept saying I should sit down. However I just couldn't explain to him what was happening and I physically couldn't sit still or sit down even if I wanted too, after two hours of this and breathing all the way through, the midwives offered me another examination which I decided was a good idea. During this time I was sick four times and also I'm not sure if was my mucus plug but had something very big and something very red slap down on the floor. I remember Jack asking me what the noise was, and although I was in discomfort, I remember being really excited to see something that big come out of my body as I knew it was another step closer to the end.
It took at least half an hour for me to be able to get on the bed for them to examine me. This is where it gets really good, when they examined me they said I was 7-8 cm dilated. I jumped for joy (I actually didn't, but mentally I did), I knew this meant I wasn't far away, I was near the magic TEN CENTIMETRES! It was approaching 8 AM at this point and Emily who had seen me all the way through the evening was due to finish her shift, I couldn't believe it. But then they brought in just what I needed my new midwife Cara. Emily was what I would describe as kind, softly spoken and exactly what I needed to get me through to that point. Cara was, as my boyfriend describes, the kind of coach that you need in football when you have five minutes to score to win the FA Cup. Now that I was this far, the contractions didn't really let up, I kept breathing, using gas and air however Cara told me I couldn't get back in the pool till at least 8:30am because then that would be three hours since I had the pethidine injection. I begged to go back in the pool as I knew that the contractions were much more manageable when I was in the water, however rules are rules. Just before I got back in the pool my waters broke in spectacular fashion, I would call it true Hollywood style, again I was elated I knew that this was another sign that meant I was closer to the end results. Without Hypnobirthing I wouldn't know any of what was happening to my body, what all these different signals were, so for this and was truly grateful. I finally got back in the pool which was now full of fresh water, and it was finally 8:30am.
And this bit is a bit of a blur, I remember breathing breathing breathing and using the gas and air to the point Cara maybe suggested I could use the gas and air a little less.....Jack told me he was trying to hold my hands and I just didn't want him to touch me. I knew from what Ray had said, that I needed to try and to not clench my hands, and I needed to relax as much as possible. I was really in the zone, even one of my favourite songs came on from Rocky which is Eye of the Tiger, and I didn't even acknowledge it. The noises that are coming out of me at this point really primal, again Ray told us that this might happen. I just remember breathing really intensely and really heavily - I knew I was so so close.
At this point I had to laugh (in hindsight) I remember that my bowels were now emptying, this was being cleaned up instantly, with what can only be described as a sieve from the poundshop. Apparently I came out of my zone and concentrating on breathing to tell Jack off he was trying to help them with the clean up operation. I think I told him he's not paid to do that, if the roles were reversed I wouldn't be caught doing the same that is for sure.
This next bit wasn't quite as calm as I'd imagined it, but my body definitely took over. I'd reached the part I'd learnt about called transition, which I was not expecting to be so strong. I thought it would be a bit like when you are hungover and can't be bothered to get off the settee to go and get a Domino's Pizza but eventually you got up and did it. I remember shouting quite vividly at Cara, Jack and the other midwife that was in the room that I couldn't do this and quite frankly they could just get the baby out with me or otherwise forget it. This is where everyone was amazing, telling me the right things I needed to hear. They told me I WAS doing this and I COULD get the baby out. I had already come this far and there was just a little bit further to go, eventually I could feel the baby right near the exit I wanted to push but Cara said don't push yet and again from Hypnobirthing I remembered that there was two different times or feelings of when I should push, so somewhere in my subconscious this was embedded within me and I held off pushing for as long as I could.
Eventually I told Cara I couldn't hold off any more and she said I should push, she was behind me with a mirror telling me she could see the head and to wait until the next contraction before I pushed for the shoulders. I managed to do this, and then June powered on out through a pool of blood. Jack said it was the most amazing thing he'd ever seen, they brought June up onto my chest and I just couldn't believe that it was all done and that she was finally here. I remember just holding her bum and staring at this little squishy face, which is now so recognisable. Her umbilical cord was abnormally short so I had to really bend over to make sure that I wasn't tugging on my placenta but also that she was above water enough so that she wasn't swallowing it.
The other midwife that was in the room, usually works on labour ward and she had a face that was a little concerned because June had come out the pool and she was blue. We knew that this was common with water births, however we were still quite alarmed as we'd totally forgotten this information. I remember asking Cara if everything was okay repeatedly and she kept telling me it was all totally normal. Jack then cut the umbilical cord and straight away the colour started coming to June, she started to turn a lovely pink. After what seemed like forever, she started to cry. They then took her off my chest so that I can get out the pool and then Jack held her.
Before they took me out the pool they mentioned in my notes that I had said I would like to birth the placenta naturally, and this is also their recommendation on the MLU in Margate. By this point I couldn't imagine birthing another thing, so I said I wanted the injection....Jack tried to talk me round as he knew I wasn't thinking straight. They got me out the pool and onto a stool, rather than the injection my midwife said why not push once more and see what happens. At this point my placenta slapped down into a box that was placed underneath the squatting stool and that was that. Even though I've seen pictures of it, I couldn't help but stare at it, it was so much bigger than i'd imagined. And after the placenta came out I was over the moon.
They supported me over to the bed, my legs were shaky, and then came at me with the trolley, I was sure they were going to tell me I would need five stitches or more.....but actually I only had two grazes. It was explained I could have one stitch if I wanted, but that would cause me as much aggravation as the graze itself. If I just looked after it over the next few days - I'd be fine. So that was that, no stitches for me, I was elated and mostly in disbelief.
As I managed to drink so many fluids during labour to keep myself hydrated, this was the point I just couldn't keep any more liquid inside of me. I'd been relieving myself in the pool, but now it was time for me to go on the bed. Apparently you're supposed to have your first wee measured, I'd already put a stop to that. And forgive me if this isn't what you want to read, but I'm sharing all the graphic details because I think it's so important to know that when you're in labour you just do not care about these things, I felt really free. It's really instinctive, for those people that think very worried about pooing during labour quite frankly you just don't give a shit (even though you've just given about 10 in the pool). Next up was a shower, which was just the best feeling ever, and food has never tasted so good.
We went into the MLU at 8 PM on Thursday night, and June was born at 9 AM Friday morning. In total I was in there for 13 hours before she arrived, and I was in the pool for the majority of that apart from the three hours where I had the pethidine injection. We then stayed in for one night and then it was off home. June's now 9 weeks old, and I can't remember life before she was here.
Myself and Jack cannot recommend Hypnobirthing or Ray enough, knowing what was happening to my body, knowing what I needed to do to help my body during the labour process was so enlightening. It also gave Jack a really important role to play too.
The midwifes at the Margate MLU were beyond fantastic, and I recommend Hypnobirthing to everybody I see that is pregnant (sorry about that), it's really changed the way I think about myself and my body. I think it's really important for women to be empowered to be able to make choices about themselves during this unique experience.
Lots of people ask me how the birth was with a pained face, and I always respond with the fact that I had a really positive experience. I tell my birth story to as many people as I can (who ask to hear it mind), not because I want to boast, but because I want to change the stigma about birth being negative horrible process. Yes, it's not a walk in the park but my goodness with all the tools I had in my kit from Hypnobirthing, it helped me get through it. I honestly believe it gave me the best start to motherhood I could of wished for.
Orla's Birth Story
Introducing a beautiful birth story from Rebecca. She had a difficult pregnancy that was full of uncertainty and she had the odds stacked against her when we met. She'd had a traumatic and medicalised birth with her first child and this was an IVF baby, so helping her to trust her body's natural ability to birth was challenging for her. I went to her house and taught her and her husband hypnobirthing privately. Rebecca was incredible. Every week when I arrived, her pregnancy was testing her more and more. We'd do the session and she'd regain her upbeat mood and positivity, then she'd have the next curve ball thrown at her. Despite it all, she trusted her instincts and practiced her hypnobirthing techniques. She and her beautiful baby girl are testament to how a mother's determination and fierce love can bring a distant hope into reality. I am so very proud of her. Christy
1st June 2017 - 41 weeks
Boiling hot heatwave, heavily pregnant, very swollen, angry mama who was getting ZERO sleep unless she slept on two seater sofa. After saying that I would never have another sweep I decided "Screw this, I WILL have that sweep" I had the sweep at home on my own bed and I felt absolute no discomfort at all compared to the sweep in my first pregnancy. Within half an hour of having the sweep and going for a walk I started having surges, however I thought they were just uncomfortable Braxton hicks. I'm not sure what I did that evening but I couldn't sleep at all so I went to sleep on the sofa about 11pm.
I was pissed off, by this point I was in labour with my son (41 weeks) two hours later an uncomfortable sensation in my tummy woke me up. I'd never felt it before as my last labour was ALL in my back, every minute of it. I kept going to the loo and kept trying to sleep again, however I soon noticed that I was waking up about every 10 mins! So I decided to give up trying to sleep at 1am, and listened to my daily affirmations and relaxation MP3 with my headphones as I was the only person awake in the house. Immediately I felt so chilled. I put the lamp on low and sat on my birth ball practicing my breathing and listening to my mp3's. I have no idea where the time went but I soon noticed that the surges were coming every 3 minutes and were intense. I rang the birth place (MLU) as that's where I was planning on giving birth, they listened to me having surges on the phone and advised me to come straight in.
By the time we got there it was about 5:30am. I was very calm, relaxed and happy. I was listening to my mp3's on my phone with my headphones which helped me SO much it's crazy. Also I was inhaling lavender essential oil on a muslin when I had a surge, also amazing. I accepted an examination as I felt I wanted to know how things were going. I was already 5cm! Shortly afterwards, we were Informed that in actual fact I couldn't have my baby at the birth place because 1) it was an IVF pregnancy which automatically classes you as high risk and 2) because I had had a previous postpartum haemorrhage. I didn't let this bother me AT all, despite having cleared giving birth there on three separate occasions prior to this. I totally understood where they were coming from. I had prepared myself to have my baby wherever, I knew I could use my Hypnobirthing tools wherever I had to. Medway hospital were FANTASTIC I can't even tell you how amazing they were. The midwives and the consultant were SO supportive of us Hypnobirthing, I really did not expect them to be. They put up the sign on the door for us on delivery suite, shut the blinds, got me a bigger birthing ball and blew it up much higher so that my hips were higher than my knees. I had my mp3's playing aloud on the sound system and my aromatherapy oils around me. I felt so relaxed. I really wanted a water birth but they said It wasn't possible because I had to have a cannula Incase of another postpartum haemorrhage. I refused the cannula because I knew it would distract me during labour (I always find they restrict my movement and I don't like it). They said they would wait until later on when I was closer to delivery and they did. They also wanted to continually monitor baby whilst I sat on the ball, but I ended up taking the trace off because it kept slipping when I leant forward onto the bed. Again, this wasn't a problem though, it just meant that the midwife, who was so lovely and supportive, monitored baby with a Doppler every 15 mins. The midwife was silent, I didn't even hear her enter the room. She told me I was amazing and that she was so impressed with how well I was managing with just breathing techniques.
Fast forward to lunch time, I had been on delivery suite for about 6.5 hrs, I was beginning to feel pretty pooped despite constantly eating, drinking, resting and moving about. I had a shower to help with the surges as I was told I couldn't get in the water Incase they needed to cannulate me. I was offered a vaginal exam and after much deliberation I agreed. I had progressed by 1.5cm in 6.5 hrs. They weren't concerned about the baby at all, she was happy, but they could see that I was beginning to get pretty exhausted after no sleep for three days before labour too. I was given two options to consider, breaking of the waters (releasing) and seeing how things went......or a gentle Caesarian. I didn't fancy the latter, I had come SO far all by myself. I asked them exactly what the pros and cons were of breaking my waters and they explained that it can either make things speed up or not do much at all. I felt a little nervous but as soon as they broke my waters I felt such a huge relief, it was like a shift happened inside me. I decided that this was the best decision for my baby and I after asking a LOT of questions and talking it through with my husband, the consultant and the midwife. I also asked to try gas and air as I was beginning to feel like I needed something. I didn't like gas and air in my first labour, in fact it made me throw up, but this time....wow, amazing. My actual words were "How the hell is this stuff legal? I love it" it helped me so much. By this point I was listening to Moby and it all started to feel pretty magical/surreal in a way haha that's the only word I can think of to describe it.
So, I had my waters broken, was cracking on with the gas and air and breathing and my surges were majorly intense now, I could feel the baby moving down inside me which was crazy! The consultant gave me the all clear to get in a birth pool which had become free across the hallway as long as I kept the cannula out of the water (I don't actually remember them doing the cannula) however, what felt like only minutes from them breaking my waters was about 1.5 hrs apparently. By this point I had become quite vocal, I felt like I needed to yell as the surges were SO intense by now, not painful, just SO powerful. I found myself going from standing on my tip toes to suddenly on all fours on the floor and bearing down! I had never felt this before as I had an epidural with my son and I never felt the urge to 'push' it was incredible! I went a little wild at this point, the midwife politely asked me to get onto the bed onto my knees and lean on the backrest because baby would be born onto the floor otherwise, I didn't see how I could possibly move, and I told her no, but she explained that baby could actually hurt herself, so I hauled myself onto the bed, onto my knees and leant on the back. This position was INTENSE. I remember saying "this isn't helping it's making it worse" and then Woah I started REALLY baring down with no effort at all, it was completely involuntary, my body was just doing it and I was roaring at the same time. I remember reaching between my legs to feel what was going on and not believing that baby's head still wasn't out as it felt so Intense and I could feel her moving down.
All of a sudden I had three continual surges that I could just about breathe through and her head was out! I remembered thinking "so this is the 'ring of fire' sensation I've read about" it really wasn't painful, it was just intense. I felt baby turning and the midwife said "one more little push (not like I was even pushing, my body was) and we will get the chin out....but all of a sudden her entire body was out! She was born, my beautiful baby girl, Orla, was finally here at 3:07pm. I couldn't believe it, I had done it!!! The midwife asked me to pick her up but I was shaking because it had been so quick! I picked her up and it was the most amazing feeling, absolute shock, relief, love, exhaustion, just wow! The cord was quite short and the midwife was totally fine letting us leave it attached for however long we wanted, this was 45 mins for us as the cord was completely limp and white at that point. We had our golden hour but unfortunately I was losing quite a lot of blood. My placenta came away naturally and my womb was retracting well but still I kept bleeding heavily. They tried to examine me which was very uncomfortable I won't lie, they told me that I had a 3/4th degree tear which needed repairing in theatre. I was shocked as didn't realise I had torn at all. I left baby with daddy and after a long wait went went down to theatre to be repaired. The surgeon had trouble stopping my bleed so in total I lost 2.85 litres and had three blood transfusions.
As soon as I got back to recovery I got to hold my girl and feed her properly. She felt so gorgeous, I was so so happy. I was yellow, felt like I had never slept in my life and was shaking like I was sat on a washing machine on spin....but I was SO happy. Because of my haemorrhage I was taken to MECU on delivery suite so they could keep a close eye. I can hand on heart say that my labour was awesome! Totally positive, it was WAY much better than I could have hoped for. For me the massive haemorrhage, the hospital stay in a heatwave (again) and having to leave my little boy with his grandparents was pants and made me a bit emotional....BUT the fact I had an awesome labour cancels all of that out. I hope this massive and slightly gruesome, black and white account of Orla's birth hasn't terrified any of you, it was awesome.
Rowan's Birth Story
I'm so in love with this story, and so, so proud of how Becca and Ross worked as a team for Rowan's birth. Reading this makes me all goose bumpy. Ross and Becca attended my Margate group course and I watched at they unpacked and made sense of Erin's (their first daughter's) birth. I could almost see the self belief come back to Becca. That no she had not failed the first time, and yes she absolutely could aim for the birth she wanted again! (Ray)
Both my births started the same way - with sunshine and ice cream! So true about Oxytocin and feeling good! I was 40 + 2days. Ross, Erin and I had spent a lovely day in Broadstairs making the most of our last hours/days as a family of three. We walked on the beach, Erin went on the trampolines, we visited Morelli's for ice cream sundaes. Afterwards we went to the bandstand and listened to some live music. During the music I started to feel really uncomfortable sitting down and had to get up and move around. We left the bandstand around 3pm to come home and I was having quite intense Braxton Hicks. The car journey home was really uncomfortable!
The Braxton Hicks continued until about 6pm when I had what I thought might be the first surge during dinner. Ross put Erin to bed and I phoned my mum to say I thought things might be starting. Ross rearranged the bedroom ready to put the birth pool up and we called our doula Lucy to let her know what was happening. Ross was discretely timing surges as I didn't want to know, and we put on the affirmations, some nice smells in the oil burner, fairy lights and candles.
We called Lucy back about an hour later as they had reached 2 in 10. We called the midwife and they suggested that I take paracetemol and try and get some sleep. They asked us to call back when they reached 3 in 10. I took 2 paracetamol and got into bed and was immediately out of bed with the next surge as it was pretty uncomfortable. About 8pm we called our doula back and suggested she should head over. Lucy took about 45 minutes to get to us and in that time the surges were coming thick and fast. I used deep breathing and quite a lot of growling and groaning to counteract the surges. I found that placing my hands on the end of the bedframe and bending forwards at the waist took the pressure off my pelvis. As the surges became more intense I used louder, deeper noises to ride through them. Lucy arrived and once she saw where I was suggested we call the midwifes back immediately, she was worried they wouldn't make it in time! Ross and Lucy set up the pool and began to fill it.
Erin woke up about 10:30 because of the noise and Ross called his mum to come over and look after her. I told Erin mummy was ok and that her baby sister was coming, when my mother in law arrived she took her downstairs to watch cartoons. I asked that all the lights were turned off as I found the light distracting and we carried on with just the oil burner candle lighting the room. I'd started to think that I wouldn't be able to keep this up but didn't say anything. At one point my surges slowed slightly, I had a brief panic as i had been transfered to hospital during my first birth due to "failure to progress". Lucy and Ross reassured me that my body was just giving me a little break and the next surge came back strong. The midwife arrived about half 11 and Ross showed her our birth plan that we had written out. The Midwife was great and respected the fact I didn't want any Vaginal Examinations. About this time I asked if the pool was ready, as I was really ready to get in! The midwife was having some difficulty seeing so I asked ross to light another candle, but I immediately asked for it to be blown out as I found the light too much. The midwife carried on by the light of mobile phones.
Around midnight I got into the pool. After a short while I voiced my concerns that I couldn't carry on and I asked for some gas and air. Lucy said to Ross that she thought this was transition. There was some trouble getting the gas and air ready and before it arrived I felt intense pressure and a stinging sensation. I remember shouting "Stingy" to let everyone know what was happening. This was the amniotic sac appearing as my waters hadn't released. The midwife asked if she could burst them, Ross ran through the BRAINS with Lucy and felt it was the right thing to do. I was pretty out of it and just agreed with whatever Ross said.
The gas and air finally arrived and I managed half a puff before the next surge took my breath away and I felt the urge to push, at this point I remember thinking "I've just done a great big poo" and Ross said the doula fished out a few. I remember shouting "PUSHY!" and then Rowan's head emerged with her fist, supergirl style (known as nucal arm). Rowan turned and sat there for a few more surges, several times she tried to pull her arm back in. That was uncomfortable! The midwife asked me to stand so she could check Rowan's heartbeat, but I shouted no! At this point I asked Ross to catch Rowan as I knew I wouldn't be able to. One final surge and she was out.
I remember everyone saying "she's here, she's here" but I just stayed where I was for a moment as I felt a bit overwhelmed. I gently rolled over and Ross passed her to me, although it was a bit tricky with the cord still attached. Erin was still awake so she was brought up to see Rowan whilst she was still in the pool. After 10 minutes in the pool with Rowan and was gingerly helped out and onto the bed to enjoy a golden hour with Ross, Erin and Rowan in bed.
The midwife offered the injection for the third stage and we reiterated our birth plan that we would wait for an hour to see. After an hour the cord has stopped pulsating and Ross cut the cord, and the midwife and doula helped me to the toilet to see of gravity would help the placenta be delivered. It wouldn't come so I got back into bed and it was delivered within the next hour. It wasn't as bad as I thought it might be. The second midwife turned up at the same time and the placenta was checked, once all was fine Lucy took the placenta to prep it for smoothies. I had a second degree tear and stitched at home due to the nucal arm delivery. I made full use of the gas and air for this bit.
Having a doula is great. She cleaned up everything and brought us tea and had some great techniques to help during birth. Because of this we could concentrate on enjoying our precious first moments with our baby.
Rowan was born at 1:40 am on Sunday 21st May, it was everything that I wanted from my birth. After my first birth I felt dejected, like I had failed. Before I attended the hypnobirthing classes with Ray I had already given up thinking I could achieve this and that I would have to settle for a hospital birth. I'm grateful to you, Ray, for giving me the confidence to try for what I really wanted.
Oak's birth story from his Dad's perspective: The third minute, of the third hour, of the third day, of the third month.
Sarah and WIll were such a pleasure to teach, they have really become part of the Kent Hypnobirthing family. I'm so excited to share their story with you (from Will's perspective), it's a really amazing one full of twists and turn which had they not prepared and practised could have really thrown them off course. But they utterly rocked it!
By Will
Sarah and I decided on a home birth as it reduced the stress of having to work out when we need to phone up a medical centre. It reduced stress by us not having to travel away from our home. It meant throughout Sarah’s labour, she would be in our house or bedroom, surrounded by our smells, surrounded by the lights around our fireplace, with our own music choice. Our wonderful cat, Obi would be at our side if she wanted to be, and Sarah would have her own bed afterwards to cuddle up to our baby.
19:50 02/03/17 – Just over seven hours until delivery.
Stage 1 labour
Sarah text me to ask what time I would be home. I had just got off the train so I text back saying about five minutes. Once through the door Sarah looked bright but a tad pensive. She had her phone out and was timing the space between Braxton hicks. Usually, over the previous few days there had been periods of an hour or two of Braxton hicks every ten to twenty minutes or so. These were between five and ten minutes. My presence must have had an immediate impact because the space between Braxton hicks reduced to roughly four minutes. It was at that point we realised that this was probably the real deal and we should let everyone know.
20:20 – 02/03/17 – Just under seven hours until delivery.
I sent a text to Bryoni our Doula first. There was a bit of back and forth about how Sarah was doing. Surges were coming with intervals of just below four minutes and becoming more intense so we asked Bryoni to come to ours. In that time I started sending texts to our families letting them know that tonight may be the night. Bryoni was with us within twenty minutes and I put the kettle on to make some tea.
Bryoni made Sarah feel at ease and within a few minutes she said it might be an idea that we call the midwives (generally, I believe, midwives want you to call when there are about two surges within ten minutes regularly. We were pushing three every ten minutes). The only reason we left it until that point was because Sarah was so calm. Her breathing was good. She was utilising all the skills she had learnt over the last nine months.
21:00 – 02/03/17 – about six hours until delivery.
The phone call to the midwives last a few minutes as Sarah being calm was quite a negative thing as midwives have to interpret over the phone how labor is progressing. The only reason they sent out the midwives to us was because Sarah had two surges in a seven minute phone call. When your centre feels you need assistance from midwives, they will phone midwives on call around your local area. Before they leave they will give you a call to tell you they are on their way. For us, that took forty minutes before we got a phone call which made Sarah a little anxious. These particular times made it fantastic to have Bryoni around. Just having someone else there to keep Sarah calm and to rub her back during a surge was invaluable. Especially when I had to call the centre to see what was going on (forty minutes seemed like forever). One of our midwives was coming from Whitstable, so we presumed 20-25 minutes.
About 20:20 I began texting the rest of the family to let them know that thing were actually happening and that Sarah was in Labor. Pretty sure no one slept that night.
22:30 – 02/03/17 – less than five hours until delivery.
Yeah you read that right. It took fifty minutes to reach Chilham from Whitstable. Knowing I can cycle that quicker made it feel worse. In that time anxiety was building for all of us. Bryoni and I had started filling the birthing pool as Sarahs surges had started to become quite intense and regularly between two and three minutes. Between us were able to keep Sarah in the right mindset and keep the pool filling to the correct temperature. By the time the midwife turned up we were more relieved than annoyed. It was just good to have some professional help now that Sarah was progressing rapidly. Roughly 10-15 minutes later our second midwife arrived.
They asked us a few questions about how Sarah was doing, took her blood pressure and jotted a few notes down. The surges were coming stronger and I could tell Sarah was physically exhausted by even this point. We had continually tried to make sure that Sarah was drinking water (with Science in Sport electrolyte tab) and eating whatever she could stomach (which ended up being a Jam sandwich). At every point Bryoni was there to reassure Sarah and make her feel at ease. We took turns in rubbing the base of her spine during surges and Bryoni would speak words into Sarah that would calm her.
23:30 – 02/03/17 – less than four hours until delivery.
Exhausted with the strength of her surges, Sarah asks if she can use the Birthing pool to the midwives and the midwives say it needs to be at 37 Degrees (We had it at 35.8C) I put the hot water on again to heat it up a little more while Bryoni assisted Sarah with words and rubbing her lower back. The midwives went downstairs and I made them a cup of tea. The temperature had got quite close to 37C So Bryoni helped her over to the pool. The change of scenery to Sarah and the warmth of the bath helps her relax a little and takes the edge of the feeling during surges. This part of Sarah's labour looking back seems to have just flown by with Sarah altering positions in the pool to help with how uncomfortable surges were becoming.
01:55 – 03/03/17 – less than an hour until delivery.
Two hours disappeared in the birthing pool until things really began moving. Sarah asked for gas and air to help with how uncomfortable her surges were. During surges I could see the strength involved with what Sarah was having to go through. Those minute moments will remain some of the proudest I have of my wife. It was incredible to watch her.
Transition to stage 2 labour
When Sarah asked for the gas and air, I felt a little down about it, as if we had failed in the idea of no pain relief, but that subsided pretty quickly when I realised that it was Sarah's body and I didn’t know what she was feeling. I also remembered that gas and air pretty much just takes the edge off and apart from smiling during the rest periods, Sarah could obviously still feel the surges.
After a couple of surges with gas and air Sarah was laughing. The midwives asked Sarah if they could do an examination again but Sarah's face was saying a definite ‘No’, but the midwives made a good job of saying that it’s in Sarah's best interest and that it may help her know where about she is in her labour (even though in our birthing plan it stated pretty plainly Sarah doesn’t want to know). Luckily, at about quarter past two, and the reason for Sarah to be laughing, was that Sarah's waters had broken in the pool. All the while, Bryoni was there to support Sarah and I, never leaving our side for anything.
02:20 – 03/03/17 – about forty minutes until delivery.
After realising that no examinations were required, the midwives started setting up for delivery. Sarah had begun bearing down during surges. My arms were round hers, her left hand gripping my left arm as the waves of the surges built up, and subsided and rested. Built up, and subsided and rested. The membrane that houses our baby had begun showing. (In case you want to know, it looks like pale seaweed floating in and around your Wife or partners foof) The midwives got their trusty mirror and flashlights out to have a good peak…..Bryoni also managed to get her hands on a flashlight. Not sure where from. But she then assisted the Midwives because from that point I did not leave Sarah, stroked her hair and back. And spoke words of encouragement to her.
02:40 – 03/03/17 – less than 25 minutes until delivery.
The midwives can see the top of our babies head. Sarah is exhausted. Yet the strength never fades her. Every time she bared down, I feel so amazed, so moved by how strong my wife is. She grits her teeth and growls each time, and each time Bryoni and the midwives say words of encouragement, praise and comfort. They are all amazing.
02:50 – 03/03/17 – less than 15 minutes until delivery.
After a few surges, the midwife checked the heartbeat of the baby. Our babies heart rate had dropped and the midwives told Sarah she needed to do some big pushes to help our baby out. They told her to breathe. She bared down and pushed with all her might. But our baby only budged a little. The midwife checked the heart rate again and we hear a strong, normal heart rate on the monitor. Sarah carried on her big pushes for a couple more surges. No movement. So the midwife checked the heart rate again. We heard a slow thudding and the midwife told Sarah that they needed to get her out of the pool for delivery. There was no questioning at that point and we just followed orders.
02:58 – 03/03/17 – Less than five minutes until delivery.
Sarah had a surge roughly the same time she got out of the pool. Then, about two minutes after she touched the floor. She had another. She was on all fours and I was stood by the bed pretty much paralysed. There was nothing I could do. There wasn’t enough room for me to be close to Sarah. Bryoni was stood next to me on my left and then I heard something that still makes my heart skip when I think about it….
03:02 – 03/03/17
The sound that erupted from my Sarah will stay with me forever. It was a guttural yelp of pain that simultaneously made my stomach twist and (I am pretty sure) my heart to stop beating for a few seconds. This was my point of helplessness and the only one. I stood there and watched my wife out of the pool on all fours and there was nothing I could do.
I felt tears behind my eyes and my chest tightening.
And then I heard the midwife…
“The head is out”……
(now gents, I will warn your here that there can be quite a substantial amount of blood involved. There are unfortunately, or fortunately for some, no pictures of our bed or floor during and after delivery. But to some it can look like a great deal but you need not worry yourselves unless midwives are literally swabbing and calling ambulances. Everything is normal. Blood, shit, sweat and piss. It can all happen here. So don’t be a fool, be prepared. This is where your wife or partner will need you to be your strongest. This is the hardest part for most men. We are not used to helplessness, but it hits us head on none the less. Fight it, control your breathing. Deep, in through your nose, slowly out through your mouth. Again. Focus on your breathe. Your baby is coming….)
Immediate relief followed those words I heard. Sarahs face showed a quiet disbelief that suddenly a huge milestone has been reached. A single minute later our baby calmly slid into the world safe and sound in our bedroom. The midwives I am told are unwrapping our baby from his umbilical cord. They threaded our baby through Sarahs legs for her to hold and covered it with a towel and gave our baby a quick rub down. Sarah face was a picture of delight, relief, love, just a picture of more emotions than I can put down here.
She was amazing.
The lead midwife asks the time. I looked at my watch.
03:03
The third minute of the third hour of the third day of the third month.
“what is it? What do we have?” asked Sarah.
He’s a Boy! He’s our Oak! And he is. He made a little whimper after the towel rub. But then all was quiet. All he did was open his eyes and look at this strange new world of his.
Stage 3 labour
What?! yeah boys that’s right. The birth of your child isn’t the end. After a few minutes I cut the cord. Now your babies life support machine has to be born (or ejected). Now this can take a few minutes if your wife or partner wants it to be induced, or it can take about an hour if born naturally. We opted to birth it naturally, which Sarah did in our toilet.
She collapsed in the doorway after for a few minutes because of blood loss. The midwives and Bryoni helped her stand and walked her to our bed so they could examine her. The lead midwife said that the tear that Oaks head had caused was a little too much for her skills and we would have to go to hospital for a surgeon to sort out.
Cutting that part of the story short. We got there about 05:30. The surgeon did a magnificent job at 07:30. I came home with Sarah's dad at 10:00 because we had an Ocado delivery coming (figures). But it did mean I could clean up the toilet and bedroom before Sarah came home. Sarah was kept in hospital for way longer than needed and didn’t come home after surgery until 22:30 that evening.
And that’s where the real stories of fatherhood can begin….
Auden's birth story (part 2)
[Now full disclosure before we dive in to part 2 of Han's story (you can read Part 1 here), Han is married to my brother, she is my best friend and to add to the existing in each other's pockets nature of our relationship she also lives next door to me. All of this meant I was right next door as she gave birth, and through our thin walls I could hear the pool being blown up, and as things progressed the beautiful moans, growls and roars that so many birthing women make, coming from their dining room. To me those noises are amazing - they tell us when birth is getting close, they help her navigate the sensations she is presented with. Read on for a beautiful re-telling of the day Auden joined the family (Ray).]
Labour
I can confirm that starting labour with a celebratory chippy tea and Prosecco is a wonderful way to begin the most truly epic work you’ll ever undertake. We returned home feeling calm and excited and Dave put Frankie, our 5 year old, to sleep. I wanted to keep oxytocin flowing, and prevent my body going into ‘high alert’ sogot I got in to bed and watched some Gilmore Girls (my pregnancy/new born days guilty pleasure) during which I was breathing through my rapidly increasing surges.
In between reassuring and holding me, Dave bustled about; tidying, lighting the fire and candles and blowing the pool up. A storm had picked up outside sending gusts of wind howling down the chimney and sneaking in through the gaps in the floor boards. But it felt wonderful to be cocooned inside our home in our candle lit 'birth cave’, curtains drawn against the squall. Around 9 pm I began to slowly shut down to the outside world, and go within myself. I leaned on the kitchen counter and moaned and hummed through the surges. I then moved into the lounge and laboured in front of the fire whilst leaning on the sofa. I felt relaxed and in control. Dave was secretly timing them and started talking about calling Lucy, my doula and Sue, my midwife. I wasn't convinced things had progressed enough but he informed me the surges were 2 minutes apart and lasting a minute and a half. Lucy arrived around 11 and Sue around midnight. She took one look at me, and called the second midwife. It looked like birth was imminent with the regularity and strength of my surges. It certainly felt intense but I had a niggling feeling that something wasn’t quite right and that I still had some way to go. As it turned out I was right, and in it for the long slog.
My surges continued every 1 or 2 minutes or faster, and growing in strength for the following 9 hours. Yikes.
There was enough of a gap between surges for me to catch my breath and steady myself for the next one; and a definite predictable rhythm (unlike last time where I think my panic made them disordered) but not enough to process any of it, rest or even sit. I kept needing the toilet, and found that I wanted to be private too. Consequently I found myself most comfortable labouring in the bathroom with Dave and a single lit candle, watching the silhouettes of the trees thrashing around in the storm outside.
Here's the things that supported my labour:
• Breathing. Rather than focussing on the physical sensations of labour, I focussed on keeping my breathing regular, humming, and a breathy 'ahhh' noise, depending on the strength of the surge.
• My labour ‘dance’; standing and swaying my hips in a sort of figure of 8.
• Pressure and constant rubbing on my lower back. Sue, Dave and Lucy all took turns, but Dave mostly bore the brunt of the arm ache afterwards.
• Smiling right into the face of each contraction. Sometimes I’d see a contraction building as a sort of menacing sentient thing, and I’d remind myself to breathe and hum, experience its grip on my body fade, then laugh in it’s face as it cowered.
• Using laughing as a sort of vocal technique helped to keep my face relaxed and body calm. (sounds odd but it worked!)
• My Suzy Ashworth birth affirmations which ended up being on repeat for 9 hours- my poor birth team! I zoned In and out of them but it felt calming to constantly reassure myself that I was calm, confident and safe. That my baby knew what it was doing. That my surges could not be bigger than me because because they were me. That I could do this.
• My doula, Lucy. I got a lot of strength simply knowing that she, and all she represented, was there. Her presence reminded me of all the fears we had picked apart, and the demons we slayed together. She reminded me of the confidence I had built in myself and my body. At a more bodily level, she brought snacks and water and kept the pool warm. She placed a cool flannel on me when I needed grounding in the last hour. She tidied up, fetched things we needed (often without us even having to mention it) replaced the candles and stoked the fire, all of which meant Dave could stay with me, and my birth cave still felt cosy and welcoming. She also ensured my desire to be alone was honoured by my midwives as much as safely possible.
My mindset preparation with Ray and Lucy clearly paid off. With those things my intense back labour was genuinely manageable for 90% of the time. I was focussed within, in my zone, eyes closed, riding the waves. Bear in mind my baby was (unbeknownst to me at this point) back to back which is supposed to be more painful and I thought I had a low tolerance for pain. Huh.
The wild last hour
I had deliberately not wanted to know the time or how far along I was; I just went on riding my surges. But I began to feel tired around the same time I noticed it was getting light outside. How could I have been labouring so intensely for so long?! The birth my midwife thought was imminent given the strength of my surges was still not happening 9 hours later. Sue gently informed me that she would need to leave soon to sleep which I really wanted to avoid. The second midwife had already left because it still hadn't happened. I felt exhausted and was losing heart. I was at a crossroads and decided to be checked to see how dilated I was; Sue would stay if I was close but would need to leave if I wasn't far along. I was 7 cm’s dilated, Sue said she'd stay (hurray!) and also informed me that my baby was back to back (oh no!). My world rocked around me. I- with my low pain tolerance- was calmly birthing at home with a back to back baby. Whoa.
This explained the fast contractions vs slow progress, constant toilet trips and agonising lower back. I had a little panic but I gave myself a talking too. I reminded myself of the journey i’d taken, and the confident, calm mindset I had slowly pieced together for myself. I would just keep riding it. My baby was close now and there was no way I was going to hospital. I set my jaw, took a deep breath, and readied myself to carry on.
My waters broke during this check and when the next surge came, it came like sudden thunder. I climbed back in the pool and what I now know as transition, hit. Really fucking hard. It took only one hour from the point my waters broke at 7cm to him coming out so it was fast, plus he came out facing the right way up which means he did all his turning in that last hour. Ouch. It felt like my pelvis was trying to break free of my spine. My breathy 'ahhh's became shouts and the surges were much longer too. I remember saying 'whoooaaaa' through one of them and asking 'what was THAT?!' afterwards. There wasn't time for an answer before another thunderous surge hit. I felt like I’d transported to another place, alone; it was frightening and actually quite trippy. My body entirely took over. It raged and thundered, clenched and shuddered, screamed and roared. I panicked. I remembered some advice from a friend who wished she’d asked for gas and air at her home birth, and I promptly asked for it. (a detour from birth plan A). This helped me to stop the panic, control my breathing again and took the edge off the pain. I needed Dave to rub my back really hard, constantly. Lucy repeatedly placed a cool flannel on my face and neck, whilst Sue sat close, held my hand, and reminded me to relax my face and breathe. Lucy and Dave's hands on my body and Sue's voice pierced the fog to reach 'the place' I was in, in an eerily disembodied way. I remember saying to them 'don't stop!’I was so grateful for those gentle touches and words that led me back in the room, back to reality: I wasn't alone. I was loved and supported. I could do this. This was normal. Everything was ok.
I am still amazed at the unknown and involuntary strength I experienced in my own body. I suddenly began to bear down; the most overwhelming and powerful instinct. I didn't push at any point. My 'aahhh's were ending in low guttural growling sounds that emerged from a part of me I didn't know existed. I felt my baby slowly descend through my birth canal, crown and emerge. (I felt that! I mean, whoa!) When Sue told me to stop and breathe his head out, I was miraculously somehow able to stop that powerful bearing down instinct, and do it. It's one of the proudest, most defining moments of my life. My baby came out in two enormous surges whilst I was on my hands and knees in the water and I immediately turned, did a bit of birth pool gymnastics to disentangle his cord, and pulled him to my chest in disbelief.
It was OVER! I DID IT! He was HERE!
Dave was sobbing and utterly in awe. I was shaking and crying and babbling 'my baby, my baby, my baby!’ just like I greeted Frankie-Rose. To finally have my slippery wriggly squawking babe on my chest was so very sweet. He was here! He calmed immediately and lay on me with hisbeautiful dark eyes open; blinking and staring at his new world. (Here! He was here!)
If I was indeed somewhere else during that wild last hour, then I returned a different woman. I had managed to birth my baby at home, free from intervention. In those moments I was triumphant. Fearless. Free of demons.
Afterwards
After an hour and a half of fruitless pushing I opted to have the injection to birth my placenta which gave immediate relief. Lucy wrapped us up in blankets on the sofa and brought me tea and some fresh mango (divine!) whilst my baby- whom we later named Auden- and I breastfed and snuggled, and I basked in the glow of my newfound strength and the sweet relief of it being over.
Frankie was heart-rendingly sweet when meeting her brother; 'Hi baby, this is your big sister. I talked to you in mummy's tummy!' It felt incredibly luxurious to climb into our freshly made bed with my whole family shortly afterwards where we just looked and looked at our baby. I remember us all wallowing in our duvet; me taking turns breathing each of my children in, in a decidedly feline way; body almost vibrating with oxytocin and love hormones. Blessedly, Lucy cleared up downstairs, put the pool away, prepared my placenta and brought us food- meaning our house felt peaceful, clean and tidy.
Lots of people who have home births talk about feeling invincible afterwards but I didn't. I felt glowy, triumphant, relieved and so glad to hold my baby, but I was bone weary. My labour, by all accounts, was hard. I also initially felt disappointed about that last hour of my labour. I didn't expect it’s wildness or pain. I thought I had really lost control, but my team told me I held it together ‘beautifully' considering the back to back labour, and even smiled and laughed through some of the last surges too. They talked of feeling honoured to witness me, which stupefied me initially, how could THAT be an honour?! But I now see that it was. It just felt so much more intense, so much more animal, than I anticipated it would.
It felt like I was somewhere else, maybe even someone else for that last hour, like I journeyed into some primal female place to bring forth my baby. I didn't know I could make noises that sounded like that, or that my body was capable of such involuntary strength. Now I've had time to debrief and process it all I actually feel honoured that I experienced it. Like my midwife later said, there is always an element of wildness, of loss of control in birthing, and that’s what makes birth the raw, beautiful, life changing thing that it is. I tapped into the same primal mammalian instinct that millions of women have tapped into before me. In my lack of control I was actually my strongest, my most profound womanly self.
The day my second baby was born was the most surreal, exhausting, transcendent day of my life.
[This post was cross posted on Han's blog Seeds and Stitches, You can read more about her birth preparations and generally gorgeous life over there.]
Auden's birth story (part 1)
I am so excited to share this birth story with you all! One of my favourite parts of doing what I do, is being part of the journey. The Mums and Dads we work often arrive at their first class a little cynical, a little unsure if what we offer will really make a difference but excited to give it a go anyway. And genuinely they transform in front of our very eyes. They shift into parents who are confident, assured and oh so ready to own their births. It's an amazing privilege to be part of. Han and Dave exemplified this process beautifully, and as you read this (and Part 2 very soon) you'll see how their commitment to working on their mindset, to researching what would work best for them and to building such a kick arse team around them paid off hugely in Han getting the healing birth she needed, although not necessarily the one she expected but I'll leave that bit for her to tell you. (Ray)
"He was born amid a spring time storm with midwives and doula whiling past the still hours by the crackling fire and Dave supporting you as you moaned and hummed and worked"
Lucy, my wonderful doula.
Part 1: Preparation
I first gave birth 5 years ago; an experience that veered between not ideal and pretty damn traumatic, albeit with the sweetest ending. The preeclampsia that had threatened since week 34 finally reared its ugly head at 37 weeks, along with puffer fish levels of swelling and a huge amount of protein in my urine, and I was induced. We were relatively informed about our options and felt like we advocated for ourselves pretty well given the knowledge we had at the time. But I found the induction unfathomably fast and frighteningly painful. My body went into shock I felt like a kitten drowning; feebly battling merciless waves of pain. My baby went into distress, the doctors lost her heartbeat, and she was dragged out of me in an emergency ventouse birth. My experience of this birth firmed up the belief I already held about myself; that I simply cannot cope with pain. That calm birthing is for other women, stronger women. Not me.
I approached my second pregnancy cloaked in these beliefs; these demons, and with nightmares about drowning and blood and vomiting with shock. But I was determined that it would feel different. I rested and ate well. I chose 1:1 hypnobirthing sessions with Ray from Kent Hypnobirthing. I hired a doula called Lucy. I eyed my demons levelly.
During our hypnobirthing classes we slowly pulled apart then pieced together our vision of what my birth could be; nothing short of revolutionary for us. We learned about the cocktail of hormones our bodies create to deal with the pain of labour and that by focussing on the positive birth I wanted rather than fearing the worst I could literally rewire my brain and body to manifest a better birth. I learned that no matter what the outcome I could feel calm and empowered. I learned I had a choice and could advocate for myself at every turn. I learned about the importance of keeping my neocortex, my thinking ‘monkey brain’, busy with breathing techniques in order to allow my body to do it’s thing, unhindered. I learned how relaxing and breathing into contractions rather than clenching my body against them made them less painful. In essence, I learned about the myriad ways our bodies are beautifully made for birth.
With Lucy, my doula, we covered similar ground as above, but I also cautiously unfurled my fears about birth and motherhood. Over cups of tea, dark chocolate and dates, and often by a crackling fire, I pinned these fears down and we turned them this way and that and picked them apart. They buckled under our scrutiny. I aired my demons about my pain tolerance and my beliefs that calm empowered birthing just wasn't for me. Our conversation strayed beyond the imminent birth and into the wider, sometimes harder areas of marriage and parenting. I processed and processed and processed some more, in a space Lucy held beautifully open for me. Then we banished those fears and demons and I began to feel confident my bodies capability to birth.
Sue, my midwife, never wavered in her belief in my strength. That in itself meant our appointments left me feeling light as a feather, and confident in my body. I couldn't have wished for a better medical ally in the quiet calm birth I wanted.
At my blessingway, my friends tied red wool around their wrists; and then around mine. We spoke aloud the names of our mothers and grandmothers; allowing me to symbolically claim theirs and their mothers and grandmothers strength and wisdom as I approached birth. I felt held and loved by these women and found myself touching the red bands frequently through my pregnancy, birth and very wobbly first week.
And I wrestled with where I wanted to birth this baby. I initially thought I'd choose a birth centre birth. I have a small house with nosy neighbours and thin walls and I was worried I wouldn't feel comfortable enough at home. I lose my shit when I stub my toe and generally consider myself someone with a low pain threshold and I found the pain of my first labour intolerable. But after studying all the options, the compass stubbornly fell to home-birth, every time. I can’t overstate what a huge deal this was for me, taking away the epidural I so sorely needed last time. But birthing at home simply gave me the best chance of having the positive birth I wanted. It's where oxytocin would flow most freely; it's where I'd feel my most relaxed and calm, it would be comforting and familiar. I wouldn’t need to worry about transferring. I'd have total control over my environment, and I knew I'd feel more confident advocating for my birth choices on my ‘turf’. It would be the closest I could get to creating the private dark cave I found I craved.
I now remember the last days and weeks of my pregnancy as a dream like sensory blur; the smell of wood smoke, clary sage and lavender. The feel of wet sand and mud under foot. The sound of my Calm Birth School affirmations mixed with the whistle of the wind whipping through the trees and over the pebbles of the beach. The warm hands of my husband, gently easing the aches in my back. Flickering candle light by the baths I shared with my daughter.
My birth nightmares turned into dreams that made me smile when I woke up. I felt ready.
In order to avoid hospital monitoring and a potential chemical induction down the line, I had a cervical sweep at 41+6 days which Sue said she would do in my home. After the horror of vaginal examinations last time I was a little worried, but there is a vast difference when you're in your own home with someone you know and trust. It barely hurt. Sue said I was 2 cm dilated, that my babies head was low, but that he had changed sides to his back being on my right side, rather than left. This was a precursor for what was to come, he continued turning and was (unbeknownst to me) ‘back to back’, something that often makes birthing harder and more painful.
Laboury feelings began stirring in my womb within a few hours; a definite notch up from the mild period pains I had been experiencing for the previous 3 weeks. We had a chippy tea and Prosecco with my family who live next door, during which I was having regular but mild surges. I was relaxed, calm, and quietly excited. It felt wonderful to be doing something normal with my family, yet simultaneously experiencing my body begin this incredibly miraculous journey to birth. I knew with certainty that I would meet my baby very, very soon.
Part two to come soon!
[This post was cross posted on Han's blog Seeds and Stitches, You can read more about her birth preparations and generally gorgeous life over there.]
Isla's birth
Photo by Chloe Thornley
Words by Chloe, Photo by Chloe Thornley Photography
We are so delighted to be sharing Chloe's birth story. Chloe came along to some of our relaxation classes and when she mentioned her story to Sophie we were desperate to share it. Welcome to the world Isla!
On the morning of the 19th December I was woken at 6am with my first contraction, although I was pretty confident that my labour had started I lay in bed for the following 15 minutes awaiting the next contraction just to be sure. Once I was certain I was in labour I woke my Husband, we were both very excited that we were finally only hours away from meeting our baby girl. I was very relaxed in the hours that we spent at home before heading to the hospital, I had a shower, plaited my hair and got our final belongings packed and ready to take with us.
Only two and a half hours later we were on our way to the hospital. Upon arrival I was put on a monitor to check the baby’s heart rate and movements, as all was fine we made our way to the MLU where we discovered that I was already 5cm dilated. Our lovely midwife, Natalie, prepared the pool room and we headed in there shortly after. It was such a peaceful, positive and tranquil environment with fairy lights and colour changing mood lights, we added electric tea lights around the edge of the pool and had a playlist of water sounds playing throughout the birth.
The pool was extremely relaxing, after a couple of hours I decided to take a break as I was beginning to feel a little drowsy and was concerned it may slow down my contractions so I had a lay down. I was feeling very calm and content which allowed me to drift in and out of sleep for a couple of hours. When I woke up my contractions had progressed and after another examination we were informed that I was now 7cm dilated. At this point I decided to accept the offer of gas and air, until this point the only pain relief I had had was the water.
Things began to progress rapidly after this, I was back in the pool and preparing to push. Before I knew it I was on my knees and my body had taken complete control, our baby girl was on her way. With every push I was repeating to myself, ‘keep going, keep going’ over and over throughout each contraction. This, along with the support from my husband saw me through the final stages of labour. I no longer needed the gas and air, my husband holding my hand, breathing with me between contractions, supporting me every step of the way is what made such a positive and stress-free experience. We were doing it together and I could not have done it without him, I wouldn’t even let him get me a glass of water as it meant he would have needed to let go of my hand.
The most amazing feeling in the world are those final few pushes that after all the hard work in the hours leading up to this moment see the arrival of your baby’s head, quickly followed by her body. At 17:40 on 19th December, Isla Elsie-Ann, joined us in the world, weighing 8lb9oz. She arrived wrapped up in her umbilical cord and took a minute to cry. I was surprised at her purple colour, how slippery she was and how much dark hair she had, she was, and still is perfect! Holding her in my arms for the first time was such a magical moment that no words can describe.
After a final examination I was informed that I needed to be taken to theatre for stitches as I had a third degree tear. This meant that I had to have spinal injections of anaesthetic that paralysed me from the chest down and I could no longer stay on the MLU, I had to be put onto a ward on the unit for monitoring. I ended up staying in hospital for three days, luckily with no further complications. Although the stitches, the ward and the extended hospital stay were not exactly at the top of my list of dream expectations of birth, it could not take away from the incredible experience of bringing our baby Isla into the world.
Christy's birth journey: A tale of two very different hospital births
Words by Christy
One of my favourite, favourite things about what I do is being part of the journey that mums and dads to be go on over the course of our sessions together. Christy and Jon's journey was such a pleasure to watch unfold. To watch them unpacking what had happened last time, and to really grasp what they were capable of with this upcoming birth. It was really a beautiful thing to see. As they left my house after that last session I had no doubt at all that whatever twist or turn their birth took, what would unfold would be a beautiful thing. They're confidence was infectious. Now, over to Christy.... (Ray)
George – born 2012
I was 39 weeks when labour started and it lasted 18 hours. I woke in the morning, I’d only begun my maternity leave a day or two before and had no warning labour was imminent. I wasn’t even convinced it was contractions starting as I wasn’t sure what they were meant to feel like, although after a few hours I was pacing the house and when it got to the point I couldn’t sit down, I decided to wake my husband and perhaps get to the birth centre in Maidstone. On arrival I was examined and told I was 4 cms and in established labour, however after feeling my bump the midwife could not tell which way the baby was lying. To be on the safe side, I was to be taken to Pembury Hospital, in the ambulance, with lights and sirens. This experience on its own adds significant drama to the whole process! However, on arrival I was relieved to find there was a room with a birth pool available, as I’d wanted a water birth. The only thing that came out of my free antenatal classes was that I wanted a water birth and I was too frightened to accept any drugs!
At some point, my step daughter arrived, she was desperate to meet her new baby sibling. It was the three of us in that room for what seemed like an age. I remember looking at the clock at 4pm and thinking it must surely end soon. My step daughter brought me water, I crushed my husband’s hand when I was gripped in a contraction and as the evening wore on I was getting tired. Late in the evening I had another vaginal examination that determined I was 10 cms dilated. We waited and waited but the contractions slowed and then stopped altogether. My memories are very fuzzy from the afternoon onwards, I recall telling my husband to get the midwife as I’d had enough and wanted a caesarean, and shouting at him when he didn’t know how to respond. Then later being told I was going to be taken to theatre, I may need an emergency Caesarean but they would try with the forceps first. I was given an epidural, the most magical moment of the birth as I was all consumed with the negative physical experience, I’d almost forgotten there would be my longed-for baby at the end of it! I was then taken to theatre, I felt absolutely nothing, I was told when to push and felt quite removed from the whole process. I delivered my son who was placed briefly on my stomach and taken away to be attended to. It took a ventous, forceps, an episiotomy and a team of people under white lights to deliver my baby. He was wrapped in a towel and placed by my thigh as we were wheeled back to the delivery room, where I got to cuddle him for the first time. He head was bruised from the delivery, as was I, but it was finally over.
Kit – born 2016
It was when I was pregnant for the second time and about five months in that I realised the birth bit was inevitable (I really couldn’t back out now!) I was going to have to deal with my fears and approach it differently if I wanted a better birth. My husband and I took Hypnobirthing classes as soon as possible. The classes gave us both the opportunity to examine and come to terms with what happened the first time, taught us more than we thought possible about how your body works to birth your baby and showed us how we can prepare for the best birth for us. In a very short time, I had gone from quite frankly dreading the birth to actually looking forward to it! It gave my husband the tools to be an active birth partner who was needed and valued beyond measure in that birth room.
The labour started at 41 weeks and lasted 7 hours. This time I had planned for a home birth, something my husband had not wanted for because he was concerned they weren't safe. But our hypnobirthing classes proved to us why it was a perfectly valid option. I woke about 2am and realised my waters had broken but I was comfortable so went back to sleep. I woke again around 8 am and after an hour or two of strengthening contractions I phoned the midwife. As soon as we determined my waters had broken but the amniotic fluid was not clear, she told me I needed to come to the hospital (Medway this time). This was not what I had wanted or planned for – I’d only roughly packed a hospital bag because I didn’t believe I would need to go in! Yet I was not as disappointed as I’d expected, as I felt confident in what was happening and why. We went into the hospital and after a stint labouring in the waiting room, I was taken to a room and examined. I was told I was ‘only 3 cms’ but was allowed to stay anyway, no birth pool this time. I didn’t have any of the ‘classic hypnobirthing’ things during labour that I wanted – time in peace at home, a quiet space, dimmed lights with my birth pool and relaxation music (I took my relaxation CD to hospital but the wrong disc was in the box!) yet I had prepared for this birth in such a positive way, that all these factors just didn’t matter. I was supported by my husband and I cocooned myself with my arms against him. I laboured in a relaxed way, and I swayed against him with each surge and I knew the baby wasn’t far away. I got onto the bed as my legs were tired and whilst on my back began to push. I didn’t need any coaching, my body knew what to do - in a way I don’t recall from George’s birth. It wasn’t a quiet birth, (not screaming or shouting, it was more of a loud groan), but it was calm. Soon after baby Kit was brought into the world and was straight in my arms. I had no ‘pain’ relief as I didn’t ask for it, I didn’t need it. The experience was amazing, intense and so charged - the memory still brings tears. Our midwife said that at one point during the labour she had to wipe a tear, seeing us so connected.
The difference in my mindset between the two birth was like night and day. Despite my antenatal classes with George’s birth, I didn’t fully understand the reasons decisions were made and I didn’t realise that I had any say in the matter! I was shocked at the labour and felt it was something happening to me that I needed to endure – that I was supposed to LABOUR to deserve my baby. By the time I was in labour with Kit, I knew my options, I knew what I wanted to happen and I knew how to cope if it didn’t go to plan. Most of all, I knew I had wanted a beautiful birth, that was calm and loving and a memory to be cherished. Hypnobirthing and dedication gave me just that.